Moving the Heart of God

It seems that God loves to remind me how valuable my tears are to Him.  Moving back has brought about so many mixed emotions.  I often say that my time overseas left a scar on my heart that no matter how much it heals, still hurts if touched in just the right way.  I will never be the same- and never want to be.

This past week was filled with tears over my desire to be in a regular classroom or to be in a foreign country again.  I love my life here.  There is certainly nothing to complain about. But the desire for dreams to be realized often overwhelms me.

Last week, I used up all the pages in my old journal after a time of weeping and moved into one with a plain brown cover.  Journal covers often reflect what the theme of my life will be during the time I write in that particular journal.  As I made my first entry, I asked God, "What is this season going to be about?  What in the world could you be speaking to me through this plain brown cover?"

Immediately, the following journal entry poured forth.

Finally!  A new season! The time I spent on the floor weeping in desperation for You brought- and is bringing- breakthrough.  Thank You that those who sow in tears will reap sheaves of joy.

Psalm 84:6 says, "As they pass through the Valley of Tears, they make it a source of spring water; even the autumn rain will cover it with pools of blessing." The cool autumn weather has come.

I don't know the number of my tears.  I don't know how many more tears I will have to shed in this life.  But I have multiple promises that they matter to You.

Psalm 56 says that You catch each one and turn it into a weapon.  I imagine my silver tears falling down my cheeks being transformed into silver bullets.

Psalm 126 says that tears are seeds for joy.

In 2 Kings, the tears of Hezekiah moved Your heart to extend his life.

Esther's tears saved the Jewish people.

Job's tears laid the way for the Arbitrator to come (Job 16:20-22).

David wept for the kingdom.

Jesus wept for Lazarus, for Jerusalem, for us.

Tears move the heart of God.  Over and over again, tears bring deliverance.

And then, I'm reminded of the vision of Jesus I had over a year ago.  The waterfall of tears from His eyes create the river of mercy we all long to swim in.

In Jeremiah 9, the people are encouraged to weep while trusting in the mercy, love, justice, and righteousness of the Lord (Jeremiah 9:1, 17-24). Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet.  He wept over every judgement he had to give.  And he was given the message of redemption and love.  He was entrusted with a message of hope in the midst of destruction.  I wonder how much of his tears played a part in moving Your heart to bring the promise of redemption.

Holy Spirit, I will weep with You, knowing joy will be reaped in every place I sow.  You set the growing season.  So I'll just sow and receive when it's time to reap.

But even a farmer doesn't continually sow- there is a season to wait and hope.  A season where the sowing ceases.  Holy Spirit, what is this season?  I think it's the season for sowing, not harvesting.  So, I'll sow with You.  As You promised Jeremiah (31:6), hope and restoration is coming.

I'll sow with You.  You can have my tears.  As the tears of a wife move a loving husband into action, so my tears move the heart of my loving God.  I love You, God.  And if tears are an expression of love, then so be it.