Say "Bye" Round 1

Praise Reports:

• God is good!
• Connecting with my church's mission's department is finally in the works
• Lots more- see below

Prayer Requests:

• Wisdom to finish well (Proverbs 8)
• That I will actually be able to connect with the missions department at church- pastor's schedules are insane!

I gave my kids (students) my personal contact information today. So, Cockroaches, if you are reading this, HELLOOOO!!! :-)

So many of my kids keep asking me why I have to leave. It is better to obey God than to stay. One of my kids asked if I loved someone more than them. My honest answer is, "Yes." I love God more than them. I love my students so much. They have been my life for the last three years. (Just ask any of my friends!) I think I would die for them. But in a way, I am dying for them. I would love to have them in my class forever. I would love to keep in touch stateside with them- it would certainly be easier. But I love God more than my life. And God put it in my heart over ten years ago to be a full time missionary. I've been living out that call here in America. But in January, God made it very clear that America is not my permanent mission field. And so, again, it is better to obey than to stay. I have 18 1/2 days until I go on vacation (where I will have no internet or cell phone service) and 36 days until I leave America. This is a lovely adventure!

Saying bye to my family makes this trip so much more real!!!!

This last weekend, I said bye to my extended family in Austin. Aunt Patti and Uncle Tommy arranged a little get together. We had pork loin, chicken, asparagus, squash, and zuchinini on the grill. Aunt Mary, Aunt Mona, and Grandma Moore came out. The rest of the family was busy. I wish I could have seen them all, but it was great to hang out with those who came. We had chocolate cobbler for dessert. Oh my! That was delicious!!! I wish I had thought to ask for the leftovers of it!

Aunt Patti takes care of her two great nieces (they are not related to me) every weekend. Anabel is 6 and Cara is 3. We had so much fun together! Anabel and Cara had blown up balloons for me and scattered them all over the house. We played games together, walked the creek together, and told stories together. They are such sweet girls! I was sad to say bye to them. Anabel bought me a beautiful red journal to take with me. I will be using that for sure!

I talked to my contact from the Philippines (Pat) for a while last night. I found out that with $500 (US), I will cover all of my expenses for the first 3 months including my Visa fees. With only two paychecks from my current job, I could potentially live there for 10 years! A little bit goes a long way! (Chat from Pat: actually US$500 = aprox 23,000 pesos... your first 2 months expenses including visa, nessecities, couple meals out will only be about 7,500 pesos( leaving 15,500pesos remaining for the first 2 months) so you see 500 US $ is quite a lot here.)

I also found out how to find Pat once I land at the airport. See the excerpt from the chat below:

You will come in to the old airport. We are not allowed to go into that airport to wait for you so this is what you will do. 1st. you go through immigration ( you will need your passport and papers that you will fill out on the airplane)...go thru the "foriegners stalls" ....2nd pick up your luggage at luggage area.. make sure you have your luggage claim stubs in hand as you will need it on your way out of the airport....3rd go to line of "NOTHING TO CLAIM" for exit check...give them your pasport . they will check it and then give it back to you.... 4th as you go out they will check to be sure you have your own luggage so this is when you will give the luggage claim stubs. you are now outside the airport. 5th cross over to other side go down the right side of the ramp.... 6th look for the XYZ waiting area at the far end....7th..RELAX if you don't immediately see me when you come down ..they don't allow anyone to wait so I will just be taking another turn around the airport and will be there shortly. 8th.. SMILE.........You found me !!!! we are now in the car ( light tan Ford Everest SUV) on our way to your home in the Philippines...hehehehe ...detailed enough???

I think she's gotten the picture that I like details. Haha! This week I will begin packing up my classroom, and this weekend I will hold my "Farewell Party" for my friends. It's really happening!

Roller Coaster of Tears

Praise Reports

• I heard from my contact in the Philippines!
• I have had amazing substitutes to cover my class while I take care of business!
• God provides!

Prayer Requests

• Wisdom, especially with time and financial management (Proverbs 8)
• Intimacy with the Holy Spirit
• Spiritual protection
• Boldness to declare what I am being sent to do. It's more than just teach English. It's teaching that Jesus is worth all of my life.

The last few days have been such a roller coaster of events, emotions, and preparations.

I went to the dentist a while ago and have no cavities even though it'd been around 4-5 years since my last visit. Praise the Lord! I went to the orthodontist and got a new retainer. God totally provided for both of these visits even though my insurance didn't cover them.

I heard from my contact in the Philippines, so I have a lot more direction about what to pack. I wept tears of relief, joy, and repentance. Relief because I had begun to get worried. Joy because I am so excited about what I am going to do. Repentance because I had let worry and anxiety sneak in even though I know God's words are true. I found out that I cannot wear tank tops and my shorts have to be knee length. I am excited about this as this is how I like to dress. I have an excuse now! lol.

Monday was my birthday. My co-worker Rachel bought me a ladybug cake, a dozen roses, a ladybug balloon, and a gift card. It was so sweet of her! My students were so precious! They made cards for me and teased me and asked me not to leave. I just gave them hugs and told them Someone bigger than me had asked me to go. :-) My room mom brought me a giant birthday card signed by all my kids and a cupcake cake. I celebrated the evening with my closest girlfriends by going to a Greek restaurant and playing "Just Dance" on Wii.

Tuesday, Paige, Tiffany, Nathan, Michelle, Keith and I had a 'jam session.' We hung out, worshipped, sang, and talked about how great Heaven is going to be. We talked about how going to Heaven is just graduation and is to be a celebration. It was ironic in a sense because...

On my way home, I received a phone call that a friend of mine- Chris Kuykendall- had died in a single car accident. He flipped his jeep somehow. He was only 26.

It's been a rough week realizing that this abandoned worshipper is in heaven. I was so sober at work on Wednesday. I haven't told my kids why yet. I was supposed to have a chiropractic appointment that evening, and go through the rest of my stuff to sell for the garage sale. During work, an impromptu memorial service was scheduled. My plan was to go to the chiro, then to the service. A few minutes before my chiro appointment, I looked at Chris' facebook page to double check its time and location. I lost it. I had Paige call my chiro and cancel my appointment. I arrived at the memorial service with a new roll of toilet paper and used a good portion of it, wiping away my tears and others'. I was asked to pray for Chris' girlfriend and her family. What an honor that was, but wow. I cannot imagine her sorrow, questions, and pain right now. Please keep Carolyn Dotti in your prayers, as well as Chris' family.

It is strange to grieve and mourn. The Lord promises that we will be comforted. And I have indeed been comforted. The Lord also says that we do not grieve like those who have no hope. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will see Chris again in heaven. And I know that there will come a day that I do not weep, but smile, at the thought of him. But the Lord does not say that we are not supposed to mourn a loss. Ecclesiastes says that there is a time for mourning. Yet, it is such an option to grieve. You can either bottle up the emotions or let God. If you hold onto the emotions, they can get stagnant. But when we give God the emotions to bottle up, He turns them into something beautiful.

Psalm 56:8

⁸You ^{A)" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">(A)}have taken account of my wanderings;

Put my ^{B)" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">(B)}tears in Your bottle
Are they not in ^{C)" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">(C)}Your book?

Psalm 126:5-6

⁵Those who sow in ^{H)" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">(H)}tears shall reap with ^{I)" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">(I)}joyful shouting.

⁶He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

So, I welcome the tears. And there have been a lot of them. I spent most of Thursday morning (which I had already planned to have off) shedding them and giving them to God to put in a bottle. If I have learned anything in the last few months, I have learned that it is not shameful to cry.

I want Chris' graduation to heaven to be a life changing moment for me. He lived his life in a such a way that every single person who even just met him once was impacted. Chris always had a smile on his face and was genuinely concerned for the welfare of every person around him. He worshipped God to the point of his own discomfort, usually dripping in sweat by the end of a worship set. I want to live a life like that, but in the way God has called me. And for this reason, I am moving to the Philippines.

I am gladly leaving all my materialistic stuff behind in a life abandoned to loving Jesus Christ. This is one act of worship that I pray is followed by many more secrets acts.

Thursday evening, through the help of some good conversations with friends, I managed to finish going through all the stuff I was selling for my garage sale.

Friday I loaded up all my stuff and took it to my brother's house. My dad had loaned out his truck to his friends, so my furniture stuff was lacking in transportation. Nathan borrowed a truck from one of his friends and came to the rescue. Nathan, you rock! Thank you!! Paige helped load, unload, and price stuff. Paige, you are an amazing servant! Thank you!!!!!

Jack (my brother) was on a business trip, but was supposed be back Friday evening. Because of the rainstorm in DFW, that didn't happen. So, the host of the garage sale was absent until after 9am Saturday.

I woke up around 6am to finish pricing things. As I walked into the garage, I realized that this was going to be more difficult than I expected. The wall shelf where I had hung all my clothes was on the ground. The bottles on top of the shelf were no longer in tact. People were showing up. AHHHHH!!!!

Jack's roommates and I managed to clean everything up, shake out all the glass from the clothes and make some money. I definitely profited from the sale of clothes!!!! :-) Thank You, Lord, for favor!!!

And now I'm off to a college roommate's bridal shower, then back to Jack's for a crawfish boil. God is good, even in the midst of such a crazy whirlwind of events.

Filipino Initiation

Prayer Requests:

• To be bigger on the inside than on the outside. (See Pastor Robert's latest sermon at gatewaypeople.com)
• To get in touch with my contact in the Philippines (It's been over a month since I've heard from her.)
• Wisdom in every area of life

Week/Weekend Events

The TAKS test is over! Praise God! That's the last time I'll ever have to give it! I can't wait to get the scores back for my kids. :-)

Thursday I told my students that I am moving to the Philippines. They were shocked and sad, but excited for me, too. One of them cried. I admit, I did, too. I love my students so much. If I could adopt them all, I would.

One of my students is from the Philippines, so I wrote a note to her parents asking for help in getting familiar with the culture and language. They went above and beyond my dreams and expectations! They invited me to their daughter's birthday party!

At the party, I experienced the Filipino food, family, and faith. It was wonderful! One of the relatives had prepared important Tagalog words and phrases for me to learn. He helped me practice them and add to the list. The women told me all about the shopping there. Haha!

The family is devout Catholic and had a Rosary service in their home. I participated in the parts that worshipped Jesus, but not being Catholic myself, I did not do anything towards Mary. "There is one mediator between God and man and that is the Man, Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5). At the end of praying the Rosary, there is a time for personal requests to be lifted up. My student's dad prayed for me and for the adventure I am embarking on. I felt so privileged to experience this service.

One lady's parents are coming from the Philippines to visit next week. She wants me to meet them and have contact with them so that when I get there, I can have a family to stay with if I ever need to get away. I am looking forward to this!

After the Rosary service, we ate. I LOVE FILIPINO FOOD!!!! I had pork and rice and dried fish and coconut jello stuff and yucca custard stuff and some other pork stuff and some tilapia. I don't know the names of anything I ate and don't really know what all was in it. I just know it was amazing and I can't wait to have that stuff every day! Haha! My student's mom sent me home with a few containers of leftovers. Apparently that is Filipino custom. :-)

I took the day off today to go to the dentist and get other logistical things done. I am feeling like it is crunch time to get things done now. In reality, it is. I only have 57 days left here in America. And 14 of those will be spent in Colorado on vacation.

Goodbye, Time! Hello, Destiny!