Update on life

I know it's been a while since I've updated. I've gotten into a routine of sorts and am pretty focused on things here. It's good. :-)

I got to to go to a coffee shop the other night. It was on the fifth floor of a building in Calamba. The view was BEAUTIFUL! Check my facebook for the picture I took with my iphone. I haven't uploaded it to my computer yet so I can't post it here. Being above the pollution and crowds of the street was very nice. I definitely want to go there again.

I am loving teaching. That hasn't changed and I pray it never will. I've gotten to a place with my students where they are comfortable with me and will actually talk in class. When I go to pick up the kids from their classes, the other students beg to come with me. Hehehe. :-)

Last weekend, some missionaries came through to learn about the FAITH gardening program we have here. (Food Always In The Home) One of the missionaries is a pastor in Malaysia who reaches out to unreached people groups. She has 4 churches and some kindergarden schools for the poorest of the poor in Malaysia. I had the privilege of getting to talk with her for a long time before she left. Her main church is mostly youth and has a dance team. I would LOVE to go there one day. But, all in God's timing. :-)

The youth leaders from IFL had a meeting on Tuesday and we talked about where God wants us to go with discipling the youth group. I love God's irony. I am not a skilled singer and I do not know how to play an instrument. Yet, I am on the youth leadership team and will be leading a group on worship. Hahaha! Pray about the timing of when this will start. The people that have been picked to be in my group are teachers who are also enrolled in college. This means that their schedule is very limited.

I have been given a deadline for writing curriculum. I love deadlines! :-) They help me to work and focus so much better! They give direction and goals. Thank You Jesus for the conversation that created this one! :-) I am to work on a first draft for first grade curriculum and have it ready by November 1. Please please please pray for this!

I am such a social person and writing is such a solitary posture. Pray that I stay obedient and listening to Holy Spirit's leadings to come away to write. He is my Boss, my friends and I are not. I want to be a good steward of the time He has given me to pull away and write.

I have someone to teach me Tagalog now! :-) Mavick is a Filipino who is waiting for her visa to be approved in China. She comes on Thursdays and Fridays to assist and learn in my classroom. So, on Fridays, I have a private Tagalog lesson. :-)

I think I wrote in a last post about writing on the cover of my last journal "Victory over homesickness." I really have had victory over homesickness. Thank you so much for those of you who prayed for me during that time. I do not know when I am coming back to America. Please understand that. I will let you know when God lets me know.

Thank you so much for your prayers!!!!!! Let me know via email and facebook how I can pray for you, too.

Sleepy Short prayer update

Let me start off by saying that it's really late here, I'm really tired, and had a really mixed up day that I may or may not write about later. Oh, Sleep! Where are you???!!!

That said, I have some really cool news to share!

I finished the first draft to my first publishable children's book this week!! It's currently entitled, "Cami the Chameleon". It may change titles a few times before it's set. But it's a picture book for ages 6-8. And it is written specifically for ESL students all over the world.

Pause.

I have a giant beetle crawling on my shirt. I flicked it to the ride of it's life. I'm sure I'll find it later asking to go again.

Play.

Ok, so "Cami the Chameleon" is a parable of "Be in this world but not of this world" and how doing so results in joy and changing others. I am SOOOOO EXCIIIIIIIIIIITED about this! You can't know more right now. You'll just have to wait until it comes out. ;-)

It's not just the story I am excited about, but what I sense God wanting to do through it. For the majority of my life, I have kept journals. But since I've been here, He just keeps saying, "write, write, write, write." It's not just a reading program I will write. He has given me three children's books ideas and an adult book idea with the promise of more ideas. I know these books are going to be very important in sharing His love to the world. I want to publish them and use the money to fund missions.

Please pray that I would hear and obey, especially regarding my schedule. It's easy to want to talk to friends or do other things when I've been given the gift of time. But I want to steward my time for kingdom purposes. And right now, His kingdom purpose for me is to write.

Also, keep Jessica A. in your prayers. She has agreed to help illustrate this first book. She and I are not sure where it will go from her initial sketches. She has an amazing talent and anointing when it comes to art. I am praying that she will be able to be my illustrator. Pray for her time management too as she volunteers to sketch for me. She has a very busy life, too.

I now need to crawl to my bed and have the ride of my life in my dreams. And yes, I'll be back telling more.

Breakthrough

I just finished reading a book called, "The Promise No One Wants." I think it was written for me.

God promises to shake everything that can be shaken until what is eternal remains. I think that's what the last season was about. Right before a breakthrough is when things are the worst. In order to have a breakthrough, some things must break.

God speaks to me through my journal covers. Whatever journal I'm in usually characterizes the seasons of my life. I just finished a journal. On the outside, there is 1 Corinthians 15:57 "But thanks be to God! HE gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." After filling up the pages last night, I wrote: 9-2-10 through 9-20-10 Victory over being homesick.

Something broke in me this last week and the threat of being forever homesick left. Thank you so much for your prayers. I know that's the reason for overcoming.

In other news:

Janet and Richard have moved to the cottages. They were only here (as my roommates) for a week, but Richard feels much more comfortable not being the only guy with grown women. But before they left my apartment, they somehow got the staff to put internet in our apartment. So now I have wi-fi in my room!!!! :-) I am SOOOOO excited about this!! And it is a REALLY good connection! Thank You Jesus for sending Janet and Richard! Haha!

The day after they moved out, I got a different roommate. Janie and her boyfriend Chris are at IFL for two months to help with medical things and just to serve wherever they can. Janie is staying with me and Chris is staying in one of the cottages with another guy. They are from Seattle. It is so great to have an American my age here! I love the Filipino friends I have here, but being able to talk in American slang not worry about being misunderstood is wonderful! :-)

Today was A HUGE breakthrough for Tina!! Tina learned how to cut with scissors today!! I started working with Tina this week on SSRW stuff. The workbook requires the kids to cut and paste. I started thinking if Tina could do this. So, I found a pair of scissors which has holes the right size and shape for her toes. I held the paper while she moved her toes to cut it. She cut paper for an hour and a half! During a lot of that time, I had to teach another class, so Janie held the paper for her while I taught. You can see pictures of this below.

Then, Tina wanted us to try. We said that we knew how to use scissors. She said, "No, you, Ma'am. You toes!" We each tried and couldn't even get our toes to open the scissors a little bit! Hahaha!

No one had even had her try this before! Can you imagine being 16 years old and never even trying to cut paper? She was so excited and proud of herself! I am too!!! So now I have a goal of getting her to be able to accurately cut things out of her workbook with minimal help. She can already cut in a straight line and these were horrible scissors!

Oh, I just got word that we are going to have three more roommates swing by for a few days. Our house is the revolving door! :-)

Giving Up

When you have given up everything, give up thanks.

I'll never forget a moment in college when this wisdom began to be worked into my being.

My first year of college, I had moved for the first time, had changed churches, and was living with strangers. God had me in a life group where I had to drive 45 minutes one way (at least) in order to get there. I was complaining and crying to God one night on this drive, "God, do You know how much I've given up for You? Everything in my life has changed except my car and my music." God broke in to my pity party so strongly that I am still feeling its effects. I don't know if it was the audible voice of God or not, but it changed me so completely it may have been. He said, "Do you know how much I gave up for you?"

Jesus left heaven where He was properly worshipped. He had perfection- literally. Sometimes we look at our lives and think, "I have the perfect life." Jesus had the perfect life. He was loved perfectly. He had perfect fellowship with Father and Holy Spirit. He could move His pinky toe and the world would change. He had all authority in heaven.

But He did not have you.

He gave it all up because He considered you to be worth losing it all. Have you made Him Lord, the Boss of your life? Having Him is worth losing it all. And then, when you have given up everything, give up thanks. Thank Him for giving up everything for you.

A new kind of normal

Everyday is such an adventure here. Sometimes, so much happens in one day that I don't know where to begin in describing it. And sometimes, something happens but there is no understanding so I wait for an explanation and none comes. I guess this is a new kind of normal.

I had the privilege of holding a 12 month old this week. I was walking around with him and everyone was asking if he was mine. No worries! I haven't adopted anyone YET! It felt so good to hold a baby. :-) I love kids! Baby Gabriel is the middle child of a woman who wants to turn her life around, so she came here on Monday. She left her three kids here while she took care of some business. I think she took the kids back today. It will be better for them if they are with their mom. She has a two week old, Gabriel, and Alex who is 3.

Marlis, Donald and Kay left on Tuesday. I am sad to see them go, but was incredibly blessed by their ministry; I am just grateful that they came. I was able to have some time with Marlis before they left- even though it wasn't nearly enough. She prayed with me and encouraged me in the Lord so much!

The night they left, my new roommates arrived. Janet and Richard (a married couple- Janet from Singapore, Richard from England) are here to help the women with their jewelry making business and to develop an energy efficient means of water pumping as well as making electricity. As with any new roommates, there is an adjusting phase. I can no longer do my pilates in their room or hang my laundry there to dry. lol. I am excited they are here. I am looking forward to getting to know them. I am also excited about what they will bring to the ministry here at IFL. Their services are so needed!

Classes are going well. I am building relationships with the students and it makes class much easier. I love teaching! I finally have an oscillating fan in my classroom, too! :-) It makes it SO much cooler in there! Being here makes me so grateful for just the little things in life. :-)

I went to get my visa extended today and go to the chiropractor. My back is ok...but Friday I had such a bad headache that I stayed in bed most of the day. The headache was more from my muscles being stiff/tight than from my spine being out of alignment. I still know that the Lord is going to heal me, but I also see His purpose in sending me to the chiropractor. He is good and I trust Him. I want His will, not mine. And I LOVE the luxury of going to the chiro! :-)

Please continue to pray for this reading program I am developing. I really need to teach the teachers what I am doing so they can do it in their classrooms. The problem is finding the time that the teachers can meet. Many of them are also in school. I also need to just start writing. I have a little direction, but my schedule keeps changing so I haven't jumped in yet. I resumed classes with Tina this week, so that takes away some of the time that I had planned on writing curriculum. Oh well... I'll figure it out.

Please pray that even with the constant changes here, I would know how to continue to sneak away to be with Jesus. There are moments that I fight homesickness, but the more I am with Him, the less homesick for America I am and the more homesick I am for heaven.

As always, if any of you have a word, vision, specific prayer, I am open to receiving it. But I also would love to hear how I can pray for you. Your prayers fuel what I am doing here. Thank you!

Tears and Waterfalls

I know, the subject of “Tears and Waterfalls” does not quite make complete sense. But read on because the revelation on how these two things connect is astounding! (At least to me!)

Our culture (and many others) often looks at tears as a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. However, God considers tears to be a very valuable thing. I have spent this entire year learning just how precious they are to my Father. He counts every single one.

There was a time in January that I cried many tears. They were tears of brokenness, of surrender, of prayers for others. The Lord showed me a powerful thing from Psalm 56, Psalm 126, and from an encounter with Him.

Psalm 56:8 says, “You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle—are they not written in Your book?” God already knows every tear we cry or will cry. He catches every single one. (For those of you have read The Shack, Psalm 56:8 is the Biblical basis for the Holy Spirit catching the tears of the main character.)

The next verse of Psalm 56 is what amazes me (verse 9): “THEN shall my enemies turn back in the day that I cry out; this I know, for God is for me.”

In this passage, it is not until tears are shed that enemies are turned back. Sometimes, the enemy is circumstances. Sometimes enemies are real demons. Sometimes, as I am learning, the enemy is yourself.

The tears are not the point of weakness. Tears are weapons against all that is not right in the world. Tears are a sign that you are at the end of yourself and the beginning of God. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you cry. You have the opportunity to win in your weeping if you allow your Warrior God to winnow.

Psalm 126:5-6 says, “They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing. He who goes forth bearing seed and weeping shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.”

This verse says enough. There is another side to the tears. I know that many of you who read my blog and pray for me have wept over the news that I am not coming home in November.

Some of you wept with me before I left. Remember the promise of the Lord. Our tears are not wasted and we will have a day of rejoicing. I do not know yet when that will be, but we will have that day and God will have that day of rejoicing.

In January, when I was learning this, I had an encounter with God that has forever changed me. I was weeping over a situation, but knew that Daddy was catching every single one of my tears. Then, I had a picture come to mind of a mountain cliff with two waterfalls. The entire scene reminded me of the waterfalls I saw when I went to Iquazu, Argentina. Here is a picture from there. Just imagine a taller cliff with trees above it and more defined waterfalls. Other than that, the picture looked like this.

In the picture, though, I also saw the face of Jesus. The cliffs formed His features. The waterfalls were coming from His eyes. It was as if Jesus was showing me that when I cry, I am joining in with His tears. His tears were like rushing waterfalls that created a beautiful river where wildlife, and flora and fauna could thrive. The place of pain, of the waterfall of tears, is the place where life flows. The tears are healing and bring life to a place that would otherwise be just a stony cliff.

In the tears that are being shed over shedding my American lifestyle and more, I am partnering with Jesus to make stony cliffs into places of refreshment, healing, life, and growth. Without the tears, this life would not be possible.

James 1:2-4 “Consider it wholly joyfully, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfectly and fully developed, lacking in nothing.”

Routines again (hopefully)

Ok, so I realize that after my last "profound" blog, you all want to know what I am doing on a daily basis, too. I don't plan on this entry being as deep as the last one, but, who knows?! There may be nuggets of profoundness here, too.

Random sadness: I lost my camera. I still have my iPhone camera, but it is not the same as the 7 megapixel jewel I had before. I was on the jeepnee two weeks ago and I think someone swiped it from my purse. There was a lady sitting next to me who had an umbrella that overlapped with my purse and I felt something shift. I thought it was just her shifting, but I think she shifted to reach in and grab my camera. Either that or it got left on an IFL bus somewhere, but no one has seen it. I'm trying to decide if I want to buy another one yet or wait a little longer to see if it shows up. At least I had downloaded all of my important pictures. It just stinks, because the memory card in that was a gift and cameras here are more expensive than in the states. (Now, I don't need anyone sending me a camera cuz you'd spend more on shipping than on the camera itself!)

A few days before the conference last week, a small mission group came to visit IFL. I think I mentioned them in my last post. Marlis and Donald Shamblin and Kay Heinz are here to minister to the staff and kids at IFL. They have been like a breath of fresh air for me!! Marlis is an intercessor and it has been an incredible privilege to talk with her about what God is doing and saying. She (and the others) is currently in Mindinao (South Philippines) helping with the educator's conference there, but will back Saturday. When she gets back, she wants to spend extended time with me. I am so excited! Words do not do justice to express how encouraged I am by this group's presence. We needed and need them.

Saturday, I was feeling CRAZY homesick. I had not talked to my mom in forever. I had slept through breakfast, so there was not food for me. That morning, however, the guests were served later and invited me to have breakfast with them. I love how God provides! :-) As we were talking, Marlis asked about my mom and I just started weeping. Marlis and Donald then just hugged me and prayed for me. It was amazing. God knew what I needed and surprised me with meeting that need. Marlis prophesied over me, too. This brought so much encouragement and vision and purpose. Her prayers for me even brought breakthrough into the strategy of how to do things here. An hour later, I was able to skype with my mom and dad and spend the rest of the day being held by Jesus. I miss being mothered.

I am not always homesick. It comes in waves. I have to daily (and sometimes moment by moment) remind myself of what I said before I left... There is nothing left for me to do in the way of ministry in the states. (At least not right now.) Yes, people I love and adore are there, but if I were supposed to be there, I would be. I'd rather be in the will of God than in my own will. I'm on this earth to expand the Kingdom of Jesus Christ, not to expand my comforts. Many of you are asking if I will still come home at Christmas. I don't know yet. I am still praying about that. I'll know when I need to know, but right now, I don't need to know, so I don't know. Would I like to be there? Heck yes!!!!!!! But it's not my will, it's God's will that I live for.

Sunday night, Marlis and Kay set up a "Wedding Feast" for the women and talked to us about how we all sparkle. We talked about the marriage supper of the Lamb from the book of Matthew and had cake and ice cream. We made "Son" Catchers. :-) I have mine hanging in my classroom. It's so cute! This night was very special for all of us.

I am back into teaching. I have 6 classes spread out over two days and I try to teach Tina (the girl with no arms and no legs) every day. So, I see grades 1, 4, and 6 on Monday/Wednesday, along with teaching Tina. I see grades 3, 2, 5 on Tuesday/Thursday along with teaching Tina. Between classes, I do research for the reading comprehension program and check emails/facebook. In the afternoons, I take a nap, do pilates, and intercede for IFL/the nation/ whatever is on God's heart. I try to find something fun to do in the evenings, but usually just get back on facebook. lol.

Last night, I spoke/led the campus' prayer meeting. I talked about how it's ok to be mad at God as long as you tell Him about it. And I talked about how sometimes we need to forgive God. It's not that He sinned against us, but that we didn't understand His actions and we got upset at Him. When we forgive Him, then we are able to come to a place of understanding and unity with Him. His plan is best, even if we do not understand it.

I found an amazing website on Reading Comprehension Curriculum! I now just have to take the information from it and a few other sources and rewrite it in a way that ESL teachers can understand and follow it. This will be a LONG process and I do not expect to have this completed any time soon.

I hope to start training teachers again, soon, but I'm not sure when that will happen. Everyone here is so busy; it's hard to coordinate schedules. I want to share things per grade level- not with the whole school, but I don't know how to do this yet. Also, the "authorities" here that can help me to set this up are very difficult to get ahold of themselves. I still have not even shared/debriefed about China yet. And I'm not sure that I will.

Please keep praying for me. It's your prayers mixed with mine that are creating even the small breakthroughs and helping my attitude to stay positive.

Please also pray for my health. I am tired all of the time, even when I get enough sleep, take my vitamins, do my exercises, and spend time in the Word/worship. I don't know if this is just my body catching up to the emotional rollercoaster of being away, a reaction to the daily learning process, or if this is something I really need to look into. Maybe I just need even more sleep.

As always, if the Lord gives you a word to share with me, PLEASE share it. I am open to correction, encouragement, direction, whatever so long as it comes from the Lord.

The "Shift" Key

The "shift" key on your computer can do so many things, but only if you apply pressure to it. The first use of the "shift" key is to make letters bigger (capitalized). The "shift" key also allows you access to certain characters that would otherwise be unavailable. In addition, the "shift" key allows you to highlight letters, words, files, etc, from your keyboard with the assistance of either other buttons (such as the arrow buttons) or the mouse. These highlighted items can then be easily deleted, edited, moved, or otherwise changed.

A shift in the natural does the same thing. I have shifted my location and it's as if God is pressing the "shift" key on the keyboard of my life.

The "shift" key makes letters bigger. This has made me see that God is bigger than my American bubble. His pressure on the "shift" key of life has also made me grow bigger on the inside and rely on Him more. It has challenged me in a way that I never would have been challenged if I had stayed in the states.

God's pressurized "shift" and change of location has created access to characters that I never would have had access to before. Because I yielded to the pressure of His shift, I had an all-expenses paid trip to China where I met many wonderful people, including the head of a very successful school for international children. I have met wonderful people here in the Philippines that I eagerly and gladly call my friends. I also was privileged this week to meet Dr. Don Petry, a man who starts private schools and accreditations in over 52 nations by cooperating with government officials. I met a Filipino author of a very popular children's book series who will help me to get books into the hands of Filipino children. I met Tita Pat who has helped to start over 250+ schools in the Philippines and other Asian nations. Most importantly, I have met God Himself in a way I never would have in America. All of these characters would never have been accessed unless I had yielded to the pressure of God pushing the "shift" key in my life. (Oh yeah, I have also met a lot of bugs such as cockroaches, ants, spiders, mosquitoes, and the little black bug crawling on my computer screen right now!)

In pressing the "shift" key, God has highlighted areas that He wants to edit in my life. He is so wonderful that He won't leave imperfection alone. The "shift" key is useful in correcting mistakes, especially big ones. By allowing Him to press, He can highlight and change fonts and colors (styles/ways of doing things), sizes (bringing humility or authority), formatting (presentation of truths), and even delete things altogether with one stroke of the keyboard.

One of the things that He is continuing to edit in my life is my plans. Many of you know that I was planning on going back to Texas in November for a short visit. Right before I left for China, I was informed that this would not be a wise decision. The "shift" key in my heart had been firmly pressed, a section of hope and comfort highlighted, and then swiftly deleted. Going back to Texas in November had been a hope and a comfort that was helping me to get through all of the transitions of moving to a new country without knowing a single person. Going back to Texas to see family and friends was like a security blanket for me. As I allow God to catch my tears, I can only agree with Him that pressing the delete key is best. God wants to be my total security.

I am called to raise up sons and daughters of God who are passionately in love with their Father. If I left even for a week or two in November, I would be leaving babies behind. There is no one to take my place nor even babysit. I am developing a new program here. If I don't do the work, then it does not get done. Due to trying to figure things out, adjusting, school events, and my trip to China, the reading comprehension program is off to a snail's pace start. There is no way that I would be justified in leaving, even for a short time.

Now, I don't know when I will be back in the states. But the Lord knows. And I don't need to know. He will let me know when I need to know, when the knowledge will not become the thing I hope for. I know that His way is wonderful, or as the German lady visiting says, "Isn't He zust vonderful?!" "Yes, He iz!"

Is the process of being "shifted" always pleasant? I would be lying if I said yes. In every shift, there is pressure. But God's pressure will produce God's results. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Just as God has shifted me, I now am called to help shift this nation. I will be writing curriculum that will eventually help all 250 schools associated with IFL to improve their reading comprehension in English from Preschool to High School. I don't know how to do this, but God does.

When I write and type, I don't think about which key I'm pressing anymore, whether it be shift, delete, period, space, or any other letter or function. I will continue to let God press the "shift" key in my life, and one day, I will unthinkingly yield the pressure just like the "shift" key on this keyboard.

No School does not = No Work

This week, I asked if there was anything I could do to help prepare for the conference this Thursday/Friday. That single question created a huge mess, but will produce wonderful results.

I inventoried at LEAST 500 educational products/toys. Many of these products were then distributed into 130 bags to be handed out to the teachers attending the conference. I stayed up till 3am last night to just get to a stopping spot. We finished up this morning.

I went to the chiropractor this afternoon, but was not able to get adjusted. I just got an amazing massage that helped put me back in order. Now, I am updating everyone, asking them to pray for this conference before I go to bed. We have to get up at 4am to leave by 5:30am. Many people are pulling all nighters to get things finished.

Rest is the mechanism by which I am empowered to do and be all that God has planned. And it is also the mechanism by which I am prevented from being a grouchy jerk. So, I am not staying up with them but will pray for them. I am to entertain the guests tomorrow and if I am grouchy, I will not be worth my weight in mud.

But please pray that this conference goes smoothly and that all of God's plans and purposes prevail. About 400 teachers are expected to show up.