Thanksgiving

Filipinos don't celebrate Thanksgiving.

At least they didn't.

The American missionaries brought Thanksgiving here! They made apple pies, mashed potatoes, turkey, dressing, and squash to share with over 130 people! Together, we shared the story of Thanksgiving and challenged everyone to have a a thankful heart.

The people were so blessed! My friend Tennie (who is from America) said she'd been waiting 10 years to have a Thanksgiving meal like that!

(The photo portion of my computer is not currently working, so I unfortunately can't post pictures here or on facebook. Hopefully I can figure out what I did and fix it soon! I have sooo many pictures that I don't want to lose!!)

At Thanksgiving, I was reminded of a lesson I learned before I came here: "When you have given up everything, give up thanks." We enter into God's presence with thanksgiving and praise. When we look at what we have instead of what we don't have, something changes inside of us. We gain a new perspective on our life that fuels us to give to others in a new way.

The day after our feast, the missionaries, Tita, and I went to give an SSRW training to a group of people who had just bought the curriculum from the publishing company. We gave a CRASH course! I made the missionaries show their stuff. :-) It was a lot of fun! But can you imagine trying to cram in two weeks' worth of training into a 6 hour session with a lunch break and two snack breaks? It didn't happen! So we promised to offer more training at IFL in the future for this group. I hope I will be one of the trainers again. I really enjoy empowering other teachers.

The missionaries have moved on to China now to start their school. They blessed me more than I can express. Often, we would gather together to just soak in God's presence and pray. Their hearts toward Him and their generosity and help towards me ministered so deeply to me. Cathy gave me two wonderful books to read as well as her computer speakers and more chocolate! I am so grateful!

I now have only 21 days until I come back to the states. I have so much to do before then! We are going in a new direction in January with the reading program. I made an action plan and timeline for everything. I gave it to Tita tonight and we will be meeting to discuss it tomorrow. Please keep this meeting and this plan in your prayers. Once we talk about it, I will share a little bit of what I'll be doing.

I don't believe I have posted this yet, but I bought a one way ticket back here to the Philippines. God has made it clear that I am to stay here for another year. So, unless the Lord opens doors and makes provision, I will be in this nation until at least May of 2012. I may make more visits back to the states between now and then, I may not. I may go to other nations from here, I may not. All I know is that I am here. This is where I need to be and this is where I want to be. Where the Lord sends me, I will go. The action plan that the Lord has given me takes me all the way to May of 2012 to see it put into place. After that, another adventure begins.

Do I still get homesick? I'm sure some of you are wondering. The answer is yes. But I get homesick in a different way than I used to. I don't miss the stuff I had. And I get to talk to the people I love, so it's not that I miss them completely. But I miss being known and I miss hugs from the people who know me. I'll be honest, I miss the culture of rest that my home church created. I miss the familiar. But that "missing" just drives me deeper into the arms of my Jesus who left all that was familiar to Him in order to receive me into His arms. He becomes my familiarity, especially in those moments.

Tomorrow celebrates my 5th month "anniversary" of being here. I would never turn back the hands of time to stay in the states. Sometimes I wish I had my old classroom back and my old routine of teaching. It was such a predictable adventure. But then, I would be missing so much here. Like tonight, I played a game of "tickle tag" with three little boys who just wanted love. I was always it and they were always my captives. I also "tickle caught" some older (age 10-12) boys and discovered they are still afraid of the wiggling fingers. :-) And today, I helped Tina to understand a sermon by Nick Vujicic- a man who also has no arms and no legs.

Nope, I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

Oh Baby!

If I've said it before, I'll say it again: Life is ever-changing here. The whirlwind I live in has prevented me from updating. So, here is the last few weeks of my life:

First though, I must explain my settings as I write this. I thought I had adjusted to all of the bugs and strange critters in my home. This week, black, flying stink bugs invaded our home and I just saw a mouse running across the rafters. The bugs are attracted to light and to me. Sometimes they bite. I'm thinking about making a game of "how far can I flick the bug." Loser has to eat one. Apparently the frog doesn't mind losing.

Anyway....

At my last post, I was taking care of Aubrey. I even had the privilege of taking Aubrey to the doctor for her 3 week check up where she was given creams, special formula, and special instructions about her sensitive skin. Aubrey's mom came home from taking her tests on Tuesday, November 9. Aubrey was so excited to see her mom and her mom was so excited to see her beautiful baby girl. I was grateful to be able to get to my tasks of preparing for the future even though I enjoyed being with her so much. Unfortunately on Thursday, Aubrey's mom developed shingles and had to be in isolation so that her baby girl and the rest of IFL would not get chicken pox. I was appointed as primary caretaker for Aubrey.

For the hygienic safety of the baby and the mom, infants here are not permitted to leave their house until they are one month old. So, I missed the dedication ceremony for the girl's dorm that was built, and the official groundbreaking on the school building project. I also missed church. Judith helped me with Aubrey on that day, though, so I could at least get a nap in, and a change of scenery. She is wonderful!

At the same time that I was appointed to round two of Mommy Duty, I was also assigned to be the trainer for the SSRW program. This is the same training I did in China. In China, however, Judith was the lead trainer and did most of the talking. Judith is in Malaysia doing a children's Vacation Bible School right now. That leaves me in charge. I am training three people who will start a school in China in a primarily unreached city. What an opportunity to expand the kingdom! :-) They want to start the school for the eventual purpose of evangelism.

Needless to say, these duties were (and are) big tasks. Aubrey was only 3 weeks old when I first started to take care of her. She ate every 2 hours- even in the night. So, while most women in the states get 6 weeks of maternity leave, I got none. Overnight I became a working mom with an infant. What a challenge!

I absolutely LOVED every minute of being "Mommy 2." God taught me so much about Him, myself, and being a mom. At the risk of scaring away any "potentials", I make the next statement: I CAN'T WAIT to be a full-time mom! :-)

Taking care of Aubrey was such a challenge, though. Her nights and days are not on the same schedule as my nights and days. So, she was often awake every hour at night. That meant I was too. There were days that I was absolutely exhausted, but I still had to teach the SSRW program, teach Tina, and do laundry. The Lord provided wonderful people to help. I had to learn to receive it.

In that time away from Aubrey, Tina learned how to use glue for the first time. She is so proud of herself! I also bought her clipboard and scissors that make it easier for her to cut, draw, and hold papers. She is enjoying learning how to be independent in these physical tasks at the same time that she is learning English. She is such a blessing! She wants to be a pastor when she grows up. And what an amazing message she will have to share!

Aubrey has basically been my world for the past week. She taught me so much!

I realized that people who have their own children are given advice all the time. I learned how to take advice from others and how to pretend to take advice when it was not needed. I also learned how to ask for it. I learned how to make bottles in the middle of the night and how to stay awake while giving them. I learned that I can safely sleep with a baby in my bed. I learned how to consistently burp a baby and how to keep her quiet in the night so the roommates didn't wake up. I learned how to let others take care of Aubrey when I needed rest or needed to do something else. I learned that spit up is not that big of a deal. I learned that when I am spit up on in the middle of the night, I can take a towel, dry it off, and go back to sleep. I learned that baby pee in my lap looks like I am the one who peed. (But I didn't change my clothes until after Aubrey had a bath and succeeded in spitting up all over me and then falling asleep.)

I learned how to have "family time" even when it is just a baby and a mommy. I learned how to pray over a baby in such a way that the baby is brought from fear to peace. I learned how to love in a way I never had to love before.

Because of my duties, I barely had time to write in my journal or connect with the Lord for myself. I would try to write and just when I got settled into my thoughts, Aubrey would need to be burped, need a diaper change, need a bottle, or it was my window of time to eat or sleep. I was constantly rocking and "dancing" with Aubrey to sooth her cries and often upset stomach. I learned that to take care of her was my worship to the Lord.

On Monday, November 15th, I had the privilege of going to the monthly J-Rev meeting while my wonderful roommate Nancy watched Aubrey. During worship, I wanted to dance for the Lord so badly. But the only moves that came to me were the ones I had been doing while holding Aubrey the whole week.

So, while we sang, "Oh How He Loves Us" I realized that I am always just a little baby in God's arms. He sings over me and sways back and forth, trying to sooth my temper tantrums and lack of understanding. He holds me in whatever position will make me calm. When Aubrey got upset, I did not. I just kept singing to her, praying over her, swinging her, and dancing with her. That's the same thing that God does with us. While holding a crying Aubrey, I never once thought, "I wish she would just calm down at the first thing I try!" God, while holding a crying us never thinks, "I wish she would just calm down at the first thing I do for her!" God is eternally patient. He keeps doing what it takes to convince us that we are safe enough to sleep and rest in His arms. He will put us in whatever position we need to be in for us to acknowledge that He will never leave us nor forsake us and that He loves us perfectly.

In taking care of Aubrey, I learned a little more of how jealous God is for us. It was SO HARD for me to let other people watch her and take care of her. Even though she is not mine, I love her so much. I love holding her while I feed her. I love burping her. I love kissing her little head. I love holding her hands and counting her toes. I love watching her smile and hearing her grunts and coos after a full feeding. I love her little "outie" belly button. I love everything about her.

When other people watched her while I worked, I wanted them to love her and treat her like I do. But I had to let go. The people who watched her are wonderful and very capable. But it was still so hard to let go. There was and is such an attachment between Aubrey and I. When I was away, I would know the exact moments she woke up, the exact moments she was fussy, the exact moments she wanted me near. But I had to trust others to take care of her and trust their methods of comforting her. I was jealous over her. How much more the Lord is jealous over us! And when He gives us friendships, we are being entrusted with His precious babies! Let us look to Him and learn how He wants us to take care of the friendships we are entrusted with.

Aubrey's mom is back now. She still cannot breastfeed until the medicine is out of her system, but she is enjoying being mommy again. Please keep this transition in your prayers. Her mom had to be gone for 5 days for her tests, then was gone for 10 days due to her illness. Aubrey got very used to me in those 15 days- half of her little life. And I got very used to Aubrey. But Aubrey was just on loan to me. My role now is "ninong"- godmother. I want to help Aubrey's mom to be mom and me get out of the way.

In other news, the training is going great. The missionary/teacher/students are fast, patient, and studious learners. They have also been an amazing help with Aubrey. We have been conducting the training in their bedroom so that we can operate on our own time and so I could help with Aubrey when I was needed. I am so excited about their vision for this school. Feel free to pray for them as the Lord leads. Their names are Mabel (Chinese), Edith (American), and Kathy (American, but not going to be teaching in the school, just getting trained for the future).

I am coming back to the states for Christmas. I will be in the states from December 21-Jan 5. I can't guarantee that I will be able to see everyone. It is a very strategic trip home, but I would like to see as many as the Lord allows. I can't wait to hug people who have known me for longer than 5 months!!!!! :-)

Celebrate and Question and Learn

So much happens here all the time; it's insane! Is sure is a good thing God's mercies are made new every morning- and that it's always morning somewhere!

Two Mondays ago, after taking care of my goddaughters, I led a prayer meeting for the leaders of Laguna Youth for Jesus Movement. God's presence showed up there and the people were touched in a mighty way.

Thursday through Saturday was the Possessing the Gates Conference. God changed Laguna last week in His encounters with the people. It was awesome! People have a fresh assurance of what it means to have a relationship with God and how that relationship can be used to change their spheres of society. There were 316 people from over 100 churches in attendance! I had the privilege of being an intercessor for the 3 day camp event, facillitate a small group, and share on how to have a quiet time and how worship is the key to possessing your sphere of society. I also had the privilege of being the object of "hundreds" of pictures! The Filipinos love to take pictures with me! (P.S. At the mall last week, I was asked if wanted to be a model and was given an agency's card!)

We returned from the Possessing the Gates Conference to host a youth group alumni meeting. People who had been part of the youth group up to ten years ago came back to see the changes in the ministry and wish Tita Pat a happy birthday. The leaders and alumni were then prayed over and commissioned to serve God wherever He calls us- but particularly in Muslim people groups around the world.

The next morning was IFL's anniversary celebration day. We had special services at church. The kids danced for the congregation. We provided lunch for the entire congregation. In the afternoon, we had "Amazing Race." The families of the church participated in a scavenger hunt type activity, competing for prizes. I helped facilitate the Bible quiz station. It was so wonderful to watch all the families get so excited about answering Bible questions and doing their group cheers! :-) (P.S. One of the boys from a group was joking around and asked me for my number when I asked him to pick a number!)

That night, we had a costume party celebrating the 21st anniversary of the ministry and Tita's "25th" birthday. Just the IFL family/ staff were invited. It was so funny to see so many people dressed up in 1960's style clothing! The staff sang and danced to Sister Act's version of "I will follow Him." My friend Tennie played the part of Whoopi Goldberg, breaking it down. Tita laughed so hard and so did we! We honored Tita, but more than honoring her, we honored and thanked God for His faithfulness.

Last week, I worked on writing competencies for grade 1 English. I am working to make things more specific. Habbakuk 2:2-4 seems to be a calling for me: "Write the vision and make it plain so that those who read it may run it, may carry it out to the fullest extent for which it was shared. Though it tarries, it will not delay when the time is right for it to be put into place." (summarized) So, I don't know if these competencies are for now or even for this place or for far off in the future. I just know the Lord is leading me to write them.

I am learning some valuable lessons about myself and the way God operates because of the situations leading up to all of the events we just had.

I like structure and administration. I am uncomfortable when things are not visibly planned out.

God likes structure and administration. But He is not uncomfortable when man cannot see the plan.

I asked God for grace to work, trust, and function when structure and administration are different from what I've been trained in. "God, how can You work in chaos?! I know You do because all of these people's lives were touched and changed. But Your Kingdom is one of order. How did that just happen? I don't understand!"

He told me, "Raymi, I have been working in chaos since the fall of man. I've got it down. And remember, My desire to meet with the people is greater than your desire to make it happen. Don't worry." He then had me read Ezekiel chapter 1 to gain an understanding of the "chaos" He dwells in. I don't understand the scenes of heaven. It seems like insanity to my limited brain. But God sees His order, His perfection in the midst of the things I do not understand. Yet, there is an order and assigned task to each "crazy" thing in heaven. I want to partner with Him in making heaven on earth.

This revelation is so simple, but so astounding to walk through. It does not negate the need for administration but shows God's ability to go beyond it. And where there is even a little administration, He says, "Do not despise the days of small beginnings." Small beginnings can be expanded, but small nothings never materialize.

So, I am in this place of separating (at least in my heart) American culture from Kingdom culture in order to see Kingdom culture expressed in the midst of Filipino culture.

Like I said, God keeps teaching me, "Do not despise the days of small beginnings." So often, we want big and we want it now. But that is not the way God works. Don't compare yourself to "big" (powerful, famous, super-spiritual, successful, rich, etc.) people or even little people. You want to know how to get "big"? Just look to the biggest One there is. We are to take only what He says about us as our merit and worth, not anyone or anything else. I have learned to not even compare myself to myself. The past is the past. I look at the past to see where I've grown from, but not to wish for it again. And when I do look back, I try to look with God's perspective in order to prevent condemnation or pride from sneaking in.

Because the Lord sees fit to write this "small beginnings" truth on my heart, I've had the privilege of watching little Aubrey for the last few days while her mom takes her semester finals. This little girl is so little, but I far from despise her. I love her so much! And she is teaching me so much! The Lord has an incredible future for her. He is excited about her little life. And He never changes. If He is excited about this 8 pound beauty, He is also excited about me. As I feed her, change her diaper, and sing over her, I realize new truths about God. I don't do those things because they need to be done. I do those things because I love her. God meets needs out of love for mankind. Mankind needed someone to erase their sins so we could have right relationship with God. So, out of His love for us, He met our needs in sending Jesus to grow up into a sacrifice for all mankind. Because of Jesus, we now can truly experience love. Love is putting another's desires and needs above your own. Father God did this when He sent Jesus. Love is the true measure of a one's worth. And Jesus is worth it all.

I'll be in America for Christmas

Hey everyone!

I will be in America for Christmas! :-)

My flight lands December 21 and I will stay until January 4th or 5th. I am so excited!

I do not yet have my ticket to return to the Philippines, so I am not sure which day I will come back here. Please pray for wisdom and finances for me to be able to make this purchase. I would like to make the purchase this week.

There are many different flight combinations to choose from and I want to be a wise steward of my money and time. The cheapest one way ticket (from DFW to MNL) I have found is around $800. And that is cheap! Roundtrip is around $1300 or more, but I don't know when I want to go back to the states next year, so I'm not sure roundtrip is the best option. However, I have to have a departure from the Philippines ticket in order to even enter the country. So, I could buy another cheaper ticket from the Philippines to a surrounding Asian country and either not get on the flight, or go there for a short trip. But I don't know which Asian country I would want to go to or when the cheapest flights there would be.

It's all confusing, so bottom line... pray for the right ticket combination!

It will be a very busy time of year for everyone, and I will be traveling to various places while I am there. But, I want to let you all know so that I can try to see at least some of you. I know that God has an amazing purpose in me being there for Christmas and I am so excited to see what it is!

On another note, I will update about my crazy wonderful life from the past week tomorrow. And I promise, I will post pictures soon! This news is just so exciting it had to have its own post!