Before I went to America

Wow!

So, it is the end of Christmas day and I am realizing that I have only updated once this month! Where did time go?!

My last few weeks in the Philippines were filled with Christmas parties and preparing to go to America.

At the Christmas parties, I ate pig's jaw. I also sang. Yes, that's right, I sang. I tried to get out of it, but there was just no way. Filipinos love to sing. I love to sing. The only difference is that Filipinos are good at it. I am not. I survived two choruses and to my knowledge, no windows broke and everyone can still hear. Praise the Lord!

I finished adjusting the teacher's schedules for January and now the changes will be put into place when I get back. I have very little of an idea what this is going to look like. We just get to collectively go the TEACHER and ask Him how to teach these students what they need.

The weekend before I left for America, I took a trip to Mount Dueg in San Clement, Tarloc. (Dueg is pronounced dw-eg.) Dueg is where IFL started as a disaster relief organization for victims from the Mount Pinatubo volcanic eruption in the early '90's. The Ieta people were relocated to this mountain. Many of them maintain their tribal customs.

I took 183+ pictures in the two short days we were there. It was absolutely beautiful there! They are ALL posted on facebook, but I will post a few here, too.

We had to travel up the mountain by jeep because our bus couldn't make it.

The morning mist covering the valley below. It was sooo cold!

I had the privilege of teaching Sunday school to the children. I spoke English and my friends interpreted for me. I taught them the songs, "Jesus Loves Me," and "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands." I also told them the story of how Jesus loves the little children and wants to bless each one individually. I told them the story of salvation, too. All of us have done bad things that make our relationships bad. But Jesus can put that relationship back in place. I asked the kids to pray the "sinner's prayer." Many of them were very serious. Then, I taught them to hear the voice of the Lord. His voice comes often as thoughts with peace.

This is me teaching "Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so."

One of the little boys prayed the prayer, then came up and gave me a hug. This was all the communication I needed to know God had touched this little boy's life.

I later used my camera as a tool to make friends with the kids. One of the moms from the tribe came out and let me hold her little boy. He was one year old and weighed less than Aubrey. Moy-Moy will forever be held in my heart.

Counting Down

I am counting down the days until I board my plane and my feet touch American soil! At the time of this writing, I'm down to 12 days! Wahoo!

I am counting down so many other things, too.

Last weekend, I got to witness a Filipino wedding. The training center here was completely transformed to become a wedding chapel. The bride was absolutely beautiful! There were many differences in the wedding ceremony, but the differences are not the things that matter. What matters is that two people have become one and are joined together forever to further God's spread God's love.

The entire week leading up to the wedding, all throughout, and afterwards, I kept hearing the same question, "Raymi, when is your wedding?" I seriously think 15 different people asked me this! My goodness!! I almost went crazy answering this! It is not the right timing for me to be married or court. God's plan is the best plan. I know He has called me to marriage, but right now is not the time. Now is the time for me to sow blessings into other people's marriages. It brings me so much joy to see friends "falling" in love and making commitments. I love praying for them and cheering them on. I love love. I tell the people here that, "I'm a hopeful romantic." :-) But now is not my time.

And right now, I am being romanced by the Lord. This is a season for me to know the Lord as my c0-worker. I am working with Him to see His plans established. Marriage is about two people working together for a common goal but being motivated towards that common goal out of love for one another. And that common goal is to see Jesus made famous in the life of others.

So, I am counting how many times I get to sow into other's marriages and pray for them. So far, it's more than I can count! :-) Marriage is to be heaven on earth. So I am sowing the prayers of heaven into the marriages around me and into my future marriage. And I am working with the Lord to see Him made famous in the earth. Like I said, I am a hopeful romantic!

In counting down my days until I leave for America, I am also counting down the days that I have left to get things prepared for my return. I have so much to do! But I know the Lord will give me the grace to get it done. The following is what I am working on until I leave, besides speaking to the youth group this weekend, leading the HUT group, and teaching two English classes each day.

Basically, these are areas to be covered in prayer for the next few weeks. I need to:

• Extend the school day by at least 30 minutes next semester (this is the point that really needs prayer. Pray that we are able to quickly and easily change the schedules and that the teachers are open to the changes. This is easier said than done.)
• Put at least 3 teachers in place to teach SSRW (each teacher will teach 3-4 grade levels every day starting in January. They need to be trained before I leave and have on-going training once I get back. I will take the High School level which is the equivalent to grades 7,8, 9, and 10)
• Test every student in the school to find their reading level (more than likely, this won't happen, but I need it to be done before I get back)
• Train the teachers in giving tests before I leave for the states (this REALLY needs to be done before I leave so that teachers can test students even while I'm gone)
• Obtain materials for each intervention group (God, give me wisdom to see the right materials even before I know the needs)
• Create a scope and sequence (objectives for each ability level) for the next three months. (Even if I get the month of January done, this will be an accomplishment and make things run more smoothly when I get back.)
• Prepare and tentatively schedule teacher training sessions on reading comprehension in 16+ topics to presented on a rotating basis next semester (this is a continual work in progress, but the more I get done now, the easier next semester will be for me.)

I am also counting down the days I have in America. My trip there is going to be fast and very purposeful. I wish I could spend all the time in the world with everyone I love there, but it just won't be possible. If you think of my time there as a mission trip to America, it makes my schedule easier to understand. Please understand now that even if I don't get to see you when I go to America, or don't get to spend as much time with you as we'd like, it doesn't mean I love you any less. Also understand that my going to OneThing is a time for my personal refreshment/refueling. I know that I will take the things from there back here and this next season in the Philippines will be different because of it. As you look at my itinerary and know where you will be and want to meet up, send me an email and we try to can schedule that time together.

Dec 21 6:45pm Arrive from Philippines. Dinner with family.

Dec 22 Sleep, shop for educational supplies to bring back. Meet with friends. Go swing dancing that night?

Dec 23 Meet with friends. Meet at Heidi's house at 7pm for old time's sake worship group night and a time for me to share my stories. All are welcome to come! Email me for more details.

Dec 24 Family Day!

Dec 25 Merry Christmas! Family Day!

Dec 26 Drive to Austin for Christmas with my "crazy" side ;-)

Dec 27 Leave Austin by 2pm at latest. Arrive in DFW. Drive to Tulsa.

Dec 28 Drive to Kansas City for OneThing conference. See friends there :-)

Dec 29-Jan 1 OneThing Conference. Encounter Jesus.

Jan 1 Drive home from conference. Sleep. Chill.

Jan 2 Church. Drive to East Texas

Jan 3 East Texas

Jan 4 EARLY MORNING Drive home from East Texas. Meet with various pastors from Gateway. Visit Friendship Elementary?

Jan 5 Pack, meet with another Gateway pastor, shop, wrap up trip including last day visits with friends and family. 5:30 pm Leave for DFW. Plane leaves at 8pm

Jan 7 9:55am Arrive in Philippines.

I recommend printing out this blog post so you can read it easier! I also appreciate those of you who would pray over the details of this. Feel free to send me anything the Lord places on your heart, too. I love encouragement! :-)

PS After many drama filled moments of searching my computer and my external hard drive, I found my pictures!!!! PRAISE THE LORD! At one point, I thought I'd lost the last three years of my life! Check facebook soon to see them!

Thanksgiving

Filipinos don't celebrate Thanksgiving.

At least they didn't.

The American missionaries brought Thanksgiving here! They made apple pies, mashed potatoes, turkey, dressing, and squash to share with over 130 people! Together, we shared the story of Thanksgiving and challenged everyone to have a a thankful heart.

The people were so blessed! My friend Tennie (who is from America) said she'd been waiting 10 years to have a Thanksgiving meal like that!

(The photo portion of my computer is not currently working, so I unfortunately can't post pictures here or on facebook. Hopefully I can figure out what I did and fix it soon! I have sooo many pictures that I don't want to lose!!)

At Thanksgiving, I was reminded of a lesson I learned before I came here: "When you have given up everything, give up thanks." We enter into God's presence with thanksgiving and praise. When we look at what we have instead of what we don't have, something changes inside of us. We gain a new perspective on our life that fuels us to give to others in a new way.

The day after our feast, the missionaries, Tita, and I went to give an SSRW training to a group of people who had just bought the curriculum from the publishing company. We gave a CRASH course! I made the missionaries show their stuff. :-) It was a lot of fun! But can you imagine trying to cram in two weeks' worth of training into a 6 hour session with a lunch break and two snack breaks? It didn't happen! So we promised to offer more training at IFL in the future for this group. I hope I will be one of the trainers again. I really enjoy empowering other teachers.

The missionaries have moved on to China now to start their school. They blessed me more than I can express. Often, we would gather together to just soak in God's presence and pray. Their hearts toward Him and their generosity and help towards me ministered so deeply to me. Cathy gave me two wonderful books to read as well as her computer speakers and more chocolate! I am so grateful!

I now have only 21 days until I come back to the states. I have so much to do before then! We are going in a new direction in January with the reading program. I made an action plan and timeline for everything. I gave it to Tita tonight and we will be meeting to discuss it tomorrow. Please keep this meeting and this plan in your prayers. Once we talk about it, I will share a little bit of what I'll be doing.

I don't believe I have posted this yet, but I bought a one way ticket back here to the Philippines. God has made it clear that I am to stay here for another year. So, unless the Lord opens doors and makes provision, I will be in this nation until at least May of 2012. I may make more visits back to the states between now and then, I may not. I may go to other nations from here, I may not. All I know is that I am here. This is where I need to be and this is where I want to be. Where the Lord sends me, I will go. The action plan that the Lord has given me takes me all the way to May of 2012 to see it put into place. After that, another adventure begins.

Do I still get homesick? I'm sure some of you are wondering. The answer is yes. But I get homesick in a different way than I used to. I don't miss the stuff I had. And I get to talk to the people I love, so it's not that I miss them completely. But I miss being known and I miss hugs from the people who know me. I'll be honest, I miss the culture of rest that my home church created. I miss the familiar. But that "missing" just drives me deeper into the arms of my Jesus who left all that was familiar to Him in order to receive me into His arms. He becomes my familiarity, especially in those moments.

Tomorrow celebrates my 5th month "anniversary" of being here. I would never turn back the hands of time to stay in the states. Sometimes I wish I had my old classroom back and my old routine of teaching. It was such a predictable adventure. But then, I would be missing so much here. Like tonight, I played a game of "tickle tag" with three little boys who just wanted love. I was always it and they were always my captives. I also "tickle caught" some older (age 10-12) boys and discovered they are still afraid of the wiggling fingers. :-) And today, I helped Tina to understand a sermon by Nick Vujicic- a man who also has no arms and no legs.

Nope, I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

Oh Baby!

If I've said it before, I'll say it again: Life is ever-changing here. The whirlwind I live in has prevented me from updating. So, here is the last few weeks of my life:

First though, I must explain my settings as I write this. I thought I had adjusted to all of the bugs and strange critters in my home. This week, black, flying stink bugs invaded our home and I just saw a mouse running across the rafters. The bugs are attracted to light and to me. Sometimes they bite. I'm thinking about making a game of "how far can I flick the bug." Loser has to eat one. Apparently the frog doesn't mind losing.

Anyway....

At my last post, I was taking care of Aubrey. I even had the privilege of taking Aubrey to the doctor for her 3 week check up where she was given creams, special formula, and special instructions about her sensitive skin. Aubrey's mom came home from taking her tests on Tuesday, November 9. Aubrey was so excited to see her mom and her mom was so excited to see her beautiful baby girl. I was grateful to be able to get to my tasks of preparing for the future even though I enjoyed being with her so much. Unfortunately on Thursday, Aubrey's mom developed shingles and had to be in isolation so that her baby girl and the rest of IFL would not get chicken pox. I was appointed as primary caretaker for Aubrey.

For the hygienic safety of the baby and the mom, infants here are not permitted to leave their house until they are one month old. So, I missed the dedication ceremony for the girl's dorm that was built, and the official groundbreaking on the school building project. I also missed church. Judith helped me with Aubrey on that day, though, so I could at least get a nap in, and a change of scenery. She is wonderful!

At the same time that I was appointed to round two of Mommy Duty, I was also assigned to be the trainer for the SSRW program. This is the same training I did in China. In China, however, Judith was the lead trainer and did most of the talking. Judith is in Malaysia doing a children's Vacation Bible School right now. That leaves me in charge. I am training three people who will start a school in China in a primarily unreached city. What an opportunity to expand the kingdom! :-) They want to start the school for the eventual purpose of evangelism.

Needless to say, these duties were (and are) big tasks. Aubrey was only 3 weeks old when I first started to take care of her. She ate every 2 hours- even in the night. So, while most women in the states get 6 weeks of maternity leave, I got none. Overnight I became a working mom with an infant. What a challenge!

I absolutely LOVED every minute of being "Mommy 2." God taught me so much about Him, myself, and being a mom. At the risk of scaring away any "potentials", I make the next statement: I CAN'T WAIT to be a full-time mom! :-)

Taking care of Aubrey was such a challenge, though. Her nights and days are not on the same schedule as my nights and days. So, she was often awake every hour at night. That meant I was too. There were days that I was absolutely exhausted, but I still had to teach the SSRW program, teach Tina, and do laundry. The Lord provided wonderful people to help. I had to learn to receive it.

In that time away from Aubrey, Tina learned how to use glue for the first time. She is so proud of herself! I also bought her clipboard and scissors that make it easier for her to cut, draw, and hold papers. She is enjoying learning how to be independent in these physical tasks at the same time that she is learning English. She is such a blessing! She wants to be a pastor when she grows up. And what an amazing message she will have to share!

Aubrey has basically been my world for the past week. She taught me so much!

I realized that people who have their own children are given advice all the time. I learned how to take advice from others and how to pretend to take advice when it was not needed. I also learned how to ask for it. I learned how to make bottles in the middle of the night and how to stay awake while giving them. I learned that I can safely sleep with a baby in my bed. I learned how to consistently burp a baby and how to keep her quiet in the night so the roommates didn't wake up. I learned how to let others take care of Aubrey when I needed rest or needed to do something else. I learned that spit up is not that big of a deal. I learned that when I am spit up on in the middle of the night, I can take a towel, dry it off, and go back to sleep. I learned that baby pee in my lap looks like I am the one who peed. (But I didn't change my clothes until after Aubrey had a bath and succeeded in spitting up all over me and then falling asleep.)

I learned how to have "family time" even when it is just a baby and a mommy. I learned how to pray over a baby in such a way that the baby is brought from fear to peace. I learned how to love in a way I never had to love before.

Because of my duties, I barely had time to write in my journal or connect with the Lord for myself. I would try to write and just when I got settled into my thoughts, Aubrey would need to be burped, need a diaper change, need a bottle, or it was my window of time to eat or sleep. I was constantly rocking and "dancing" with Aubrey to sooth her cries and often upset stomach. I learned that to take care of her was my worship to the Lord.

On Monday, November 15th, I had the privilege of going to the monthly J-Rev meeting while my wonderful roommate Nancy watched Aubrey. During worship, I wanted to dance for the Lord so badly. But the only moves that came to me were the ones I had been doing while holding Aubrey the whole week.

So, while we sang, "Oh How He Loves Us" I realized that I am always just a little baby in God's arms. He sings over me and sways back and forth, trying to sooth my temper tantrums and lack of understanding. He holds me in whatever position will make me calm. When Aubrey got upset, I did not. I just kept singing to her, praying over her, swinging her, and dancing with her. That's the same thing that God does with us. While holding a crying Aubrey, I never once thought, "I wish she would just calm down at the first thing I try!" God, while holding a crying us never thinks, "I wish she would just calm down at the first thing I do for her!" God is eternally patient. He keeps doing what it takes to convince us that we are safe enough to sleep and rest in His arms. He will put us in whatever position we need to be in for us to acknowledge that He will never leave us nor forsake us and that He loves us perfectly.

In taking care of Aubrey, I learned a little more of how jealous God is for us. It was SO HARD for me to let other people watch her and take care of her. Even though she is not mine, I love her so much. I love holding her while I feed her. I love burping her. I love kissing her little head. I love holding her hands and counting her toes. I love watching her smile and hearing her grunts and coos after a full feeding. I love her little "outie" belly button. I love everything about her.

When other people watched her while I worked, I wanted them to love her and treat her like I do. But I had to let go. The people who watched her are wonderful and very capable. But it was still so hard to let go. There was and is such an attachment between Aubrey and I. When I was away, I would know the exact moments she woke up, the exact moments she was fussy, the exact moments she wanted me near. But I had to trust others to take care of her and trust their methods of comforting her. I was jealous over her. How much more the Lord is jealous over us! And when He gives us friendships, we are being entrusted with His precious babies! Let us look to Him and learn how He wants us to take care of the friendships we are entrusted with.

Aubrey's mom is back now. She still cannot breastfeed until the medicine is out of her system, but she is enjoying being mommy again. Please keep this transition in your prayers. Her mom had to be gone for 5 days for her tests, then was gone for 10 days due to her illness. Aubrey got very used to me in those 15 days- half of her little life. And I got very used to Aubrey. But Aubrey was just on loan to me. My role now is "ninong"- godmother. I want to help Aubrey's mom to be mom and me get out of the way.

In other news, the training is going great. The missionary/teacher/students are fast, patient, and studious learners. They have also been an amazing help with Aubrey. We have been conducting the training in their bedroom so that we can operate on our own time and so I could help with Aubrey when I was needed. I am so excited about their vision for this school. Feel free to pray for them as the Lord leads. Their names are Mabel (Chinese), Edith (American), and Kathy (American, but not going to be teaching in the school, just getting trained for the future).

I am coming back to the states for Christmas. I will be in the states from December 21-Jan 5. I can't guarantee that I will be able to see everyone. It is a very strategic trip home, but I would like to see as many as the Lord allows. I can't wait to hug people who have known me for longer than 5 months!!!!! :-)

Celebrate and Question and Learn

So much happens here all the time; it's insane! Is sure is a good thing God's mercies are made new every morning- and that it's always morning somewhere!

Two Mondays ago, after taking care of my goddaughters, I led a prayer meeting for the leaders of Laguna Youth for Jesus Movement. God's presence showed up there and the people were touched in a mighty way.

Thursday through Saturday was the Possessing the Gates Conference. God changed Laguna last week in His encounters with the people. It was awesome! People have a fresh assurance of what it means to have a relationship with God and how that relationship can be used to change their spheres of society. There were 316 people from over 100 churches in attendance! I had the privilege of being an intercessor for the 3 day camp event, facillitate a small group, and share on how to have a quiet time and how worship is the key to possessing your sphere of society. I also had the privilege of being the object of "hundreds" of pictures! The Filipinos love to take pictures with me! (P.S. At the mall last week, I was asked if wanted to be a model and was given an agency's card!)

We returned from the Possessing the Gates Conference to host a youth group alumni meeting. People who had been part of the youth group up to ten years ago came back to see the changes in the ministry and wish Tita Pat a happy birthday. The leaders and alumni were then prayed over and commissioned to serve God wherever He calls us- but particularly in Muslim people groups around the world.

The next morning was IFL's anniversary celebration day. We had special services at church. The kids danced for the congregation. We provided lunch for the entire congregation. In the afternoon, we had "Amazing Race." The families of the church participated in a scavenger hunt type activity, competing for prizes. I helped facilitate the Bible quiz station. It was so wonderful to watch all the families get so excited about answering Bible questions and doing their group cheers! :-) (P.S. One of the boys from a group was joking around and asked me for my number when I asked him to pick a number!)

That night, we had a costume party celebrating the 21st anniversary of the ministry and Tita's "25th" birthday. Just the IFL family/ staff were invited. It was so funny to see so many people dressed up in 1960's style clothing! The staff sang and danced to Sister Act's version of "I will follow Him." My friend Tennie played the part of Whoopi Goldberg, breaking it down. Tita laughed so hard and so did we! We honored Tita, but more than honoring her, we honored and thanked God for His faithfulness.

Last week, I worked on writing competencies for grade 1 English. I am working to make things more specific. Habbakuk 2:2-4 seems to be a calling for me: "Write the vision and make it plain so that those who read it may run it, may carry it out to the fullest extent for which it was shared. Though it tarries, it will not delay when the time is right for it to be put into place." (summarized) So, I don't know if these competencies are for now or even for this place or for far off in the future. I just know the Lord is leading me to write them.

I am learning some valuable lessons about myself and the way God operates because of the situations leading up to all of the events we just had.

I like structure and administration. I am uncomfortable when things are not visibly planned out.

God likes structure and administration. But He is not uncomfortable when man cannot see the plan.

I asked God for grace to work, trust, and function when structure and administration are different from what I've been trained in. "God, how can You work in chaos?! I know You do because all of these people's lives were touched and changed. But Your Kingdom is one of order. How did that just happen? I don't understand!"

He told me, "Raymi, I have been working in chaos since the fall of man. I've got it down. And remember, My desire to meet with the people is greater than your desire to make it happen. Don't worry." He then had me read Ezekiel chapter 1 to gain an understanding of the "chaos" He dwells in. I don't understand the scenes of heaven. It seems like insanity to my limited brain. But God sees His order, His perfection in the midst of the things I do not understand. Yet, there is an order and assigned task to each "crazy" thing in heaven. I want to partner with Him in making heaven on earth.

This revelation is so simple, but so astounding to walk through. It does not negate the need for administration but shows God's ability to go beyond it. And where there is even a little administration, He says, "Do not despise the days of small beginnings." Small beginnings can be expanded, but small nothings never materialize.

So, I am in this place of separating (at least in my heart) American culture from Kingdom culture in order to see Kingdom culture expressed in the midst of Filipino culture.

Like I said, God keeps teaching me, "Do not despise the days of small beginnings." So often, we want big and we want it now. But that is not the way God works. Don't compare yourself to "big" (powerful, famous, super-spiritual, successful, rich, etc.) people or even little people. You want to know how to get "big"? Just look to the biggest One there is. We are to take only what He says about us as our merit and worth, not anyone or anything else. I have learned to not even compare myself to myself. The past is the past. I look at the past to see where I've grown from, but not to wish for it again. And when I do look back, I try to look with God's perspective in order to prevent condemnation or pride from sneaking in.

Because the Lord sees fit to write this "small beginnings" truth on my heart, I've had the privilege of watching little Aubrey for the last few days while her mom takes her semester finals. This little girl is so little, but I far from despise her. I love her so much! And she is teaching me so much! The Lord has an incredible future for her. He is excited about her little life. And He never changes. If He is excited about this 8 pound beauty, He is also excited about me. As I feed her, change her diaper, and sing over her, I realize new truths about God. I don't do those things because they need to be done. I do those things because I love her. God meets needs out of love for mankind. Mankind needed someone to erase their sins so we could have right relationship with God. So, out of His love for us, He met our needs in sending Jesus to grow up into a sacrifice for all mankind. Because of Jesus, we now can truly experience love. Love is putting another's desires and needs above your own. Father God did this when He sent Jesus. Love is the true measure of a one's worth. And Jesus is worth it all.

I'll be in America for Christmas

Hey everyone!

I will be in America for Christmas! :-)

My flight lands December 21 and I will stay until January 4th or 5th. I am so excited!

I do not yet have my ticket to return to the Philippines, so I am not sure which day I will come back here. Please pray for wisdom and finances for me to be able to make this purchase. I would like to make the purchase this week.

There are many different flight combinations to choose from and I want to be a wise steward of my money and time. The cheapest one way ticket (from DFW to MNL) I have found is around $800. And that is cheap! Roundtrip is around $1300 or more, but I don't know when I want to go back to the states next year, so I'm not sure roundtrip is the best option. However, I have to have a departure from the Philippines ticket in order to even enter the country. So, I could buy another cheaper ticket from the Philippines to a surrounding Asian country and either not get on the flight, or go there for a short trip. But I don't know which Asian country I would want to go to or when the cheapest flights there would be.

It's all confusing, so bottom line... pray for the right ticket combination!

It will be a very busy time of year for everyone, and I will be traveling to various places while I am there. But, I want to let you all know so that I can try to see at least some of you. I know that God has an amazing purpose in me being there for Christmas and I am so excited to see what it is!

On another note, I will update about my crazy wonderful life from the past week tomorrow. And I promise, I will post pictures soon! This news is just so exciting it had to have its own post!

Do I live in a zoo?

Everything is great with Aubrey and Genesis. Janie (the roommate also from the states) is helping to take care of her a lot since Janie and Genesis share a room. Janie also doesn't have as many responsibilities as me (and is a nurse), so this makes her the best available person to assist. Genesis hasn't shared yet what she is going to do about school and about taking care of Aubrey. She has this week to decide. Please keep her in your prayers as she makes this decision.

For you Americans who follow baseball....Yay Rangers!!! :-) Congrats to the team of my home country! ;-)

I've been playing with the kids here a lot. Thursday they started calling me "Momma Tiger" and they are my "Baby Tigers". I chase them and hug and tickle them if I can catch them and we all roar at each other. There are teams of older and younger and the younger ones protect me while I try to catch the older ones. I have yet to catch the older ones. About 10 of the kids will growl at me when I walk by. It's really cute! :-) I look forward to playing with them more!

This morning some of my Baby Tigers and I shoveled the mud off the sidewalks and out of the drainage ditches, as well as picked up all the trash and leaves from in front of the faculty room to the warehouse of IFL. With so many Baby Tigers and a few other Momma Tigers, it didn't take long and was fun. We used a broom made from small wooden sticks bundled together to sweep up the leaves and get the little bits of mud off the sidewalk. We took turns so it wouldn't break anyone's back.

There was a new mall built not too far from here. I went there today. On my way there, I found a little vendor stand that makes personalized wire necklaces. For $1.16, I got a necklace with my name correctly spelled on it! I'm going to go back to get Aubrey's name made so Genesis has it to wear with her. Any other orders?

Upstairs, there is a really nice food court. But imagine the looks of confusion on the Filipino faces when a white girl sat down, shared a table with Filipinos she didn't know, and started eating a sushi dish with chopsticks! Talk about cultural confusion!

The mall has a Starbucks inside!!! :-) It was like a taste of America! Can you please start putting $21 a month into my account to fund my new hiding place? lol. That's enough for travel expenses to go there once a week and get a tall mocha frapachino and a snack. Only $21 for the WHOLE MONTH. Please???

Just kidding. (Kinda.)

I was sitting inside there today, journaling and reading. It was nice. So many people walked by and just stared at me! Some of the bolder ones would actually wave when I smiled back. At one point, I was people watching from behind my safety glass and two young girls came up to the glass and stood on either side of me. Their dad was behind them and pulled out his camera and took a picture!!! I was on one side of the glass and the girls were on the other. Then, he showed me the picture, waved to say thank you, and walked off! Now I know how animals at the zoo feel.

In Crocodile Hunter voice: Crikey! What an amazing specimen we have here! I've never seen such a thing. Look at 'er! She is so intent on using her tools. I'm amazed the she knows how to make color appear on that paper. She moves with such speed and focus! Watch, she made a mistake and now crossed it out, but it doesn't stop 'er. She just keeps going. Oh, she noticed me standin' here, tryin' to take a picture. What is she goin' to do next? Crikey! She put her head on her hands and smiled! And just in time for the snapshot! Woah there, mates, she is a beauty!

Hahaha! Such is my life.

"Happy Starbucks to you...

You live in a zoo...

You look like a monkey...

And you smell like one too!"

BABY! Details of an interesting week

Let me start with this... pictures will be added either later or in a follow up blog. Check facebook for the pictures discussed here... It's a long post and to add pictures would make it longer and my night later. :-)

Thursday night someone tried to break into the girls' dorm here. (I do not live in the girls' dorm.) There were four men and they actually spoke to the girls and said they'd be back.

Since then, the IFL men here (mostly high school boys) have been taking shifts to patrol the campus at night. It's been interesting to see them carrying big sticks and flashlights around. As a result of these unwelcomed visitors, people have been very vigilant in making sure I am safe. So, I am never alone anymore. We keep our fire exit closed and locked and take our surroundings into account, as usual. I am VERY safe here. The people do everything they can to make sure I am protected by them and by the Lord. Do not worry about my safety. I share this incident so that you can pray, not worry. I also share this incident so you can understand how daily life is here.

Many of you saw my post or hear from the news about a major typhoon hitting the Philippines. It hit the far northern part of Luzon (my island), but not my area. However, we did get a day of rain. And, there are 7,000 people displaced from their homes in the northern area. Pray for these people and that the flooding would quickly go down.

During class with Tina this week, she taught me how to write with my toes. I can make my name legible using only my feet to pick up the pencil, hold the paper, and write. I have so much more respect for Tina now!

Friday, I went out with my friend Rochelle to Calamba. We took pictures of bad English grammar and I visited my first real Filipino market. It's crazy to think that I've been here for almost 4 months and hadn't visited such a place until Friday! I LOVED the market! I want to go back there and to do my shopping there again. It is such an authentic picture of life here. I posted a ton of pictures on my facebook from that day, but will try to post some here, also.

While we were walking around, my shoe broke, so I had to get new ones. I spent only $7 for two pairs of really cute flip flops! :-)

When I got home around 6pm, the kitchen staff had already eaten my plate of food. So, I got to cook! :-) I was so excited! I was dancing around the kitchen as I made tortillas from scratch, couscous with spinach, egg, onion and seasonings, and tahini. I was sooo happy! I miss cooking!

That night, two of my friends from the college dorm came to stay with me. Around 11pm, someone came to our door shouting our names. Genesis, a young woman who was 9 months pregnant was experiencing labor pains! One of the girls with me were supposed to go to the hospital with her. So, my sleep was cut short. It turned out to be false labor.

Saturday morning we had HUT. Again, I cannot express how excited I am about this group! I opened up with prayer and God's presence showed up! The people were so eager to share how God was impacting them. I talked about the difference between teaching and facilitating. Teaching is imparting knowledge. Facilitating is causing another to be moved ahead. My role is to impart to (teach) the people how to move forward (facilitate) the work of Holy Spirit. We closed the meeting with asking God who He is. Again, His presence was overwhelming. I love partnering with God to see Him expressed in others. :-)

After HUT, I went with Emerito and Raymond to the Laguna Youth for Jesus Movement planning meeting. We are holding a conference for the youth on October 28-30th. I went to meet the planning group and to help add some things. I will be leading the prayer meeting for this event on October 25th and will be sharing a devotional word at the event on October 29th.

I went straight to the chiropractor after the LYJM meeting. It was great to be there again! :-) I feel all put back into place and relaxed.

I got back just in time for our YA (Youth Alive- youth group). I caught some of the worship and it was wonderful. I can already tell that HUT is making a difference. :-)

I was sooo tired!

Sunday, I got to talk to my family on skype. It was great to see everybody in one place! :-)

By the time my conversation with them was over, I had missed half of church. I was going to sneak in the back (as if my white skin would not be noticed) when I saw a lot of kids running around on the playground. I don't know what got into me, but I gathered the kids together for an impromptu Sunday school lesson. I walked down the path and I had one kid be Zaccheus. Yes, I sang the song. :-) I also pretended to hide at one point and all the kids came and found me. I said, "When you find Jesus, He gives you hugs and kisses." It was so sweet to hear and see the kids begging for the hugs and kisses. Then, they each took turns climbing up in a tree and being Zaccheus. I think I sang the song about 50 times! Now, all the little kids are singing the song all over campus and telling their parents that Jesus wants to come to their house to play and that He gives hugs and kisses and is fun.

Sunday afternoon, I had the opportunity to be Zaccheus. Someone threw a cat into the tree next to my apartment. So, I climbed the tree in my dress and leggings, with bare feet, and got the cat down. I had people telling me, "Raymi, you come down!"

Monday, my roommates and I cooked together. We made hot pot like what I had when I was in China. It was so much fun to have everyone together and everyone helping!

Yesterday after lunch, Genesis went into labor. Janie and I missed the first carload of excited college girls and caught a ride from one of the guys here. Janie is a nurse in the states and we were not about to miss this experience. The entire thing was very strange, and very much an experience. No one was allowed into the room with Genesis except the doctors and nurses from the hospital. It practically killed us to know that she was in there without moral support. Janie and I were trying to talk to Genesis through the closed window. Janie was adamant about finding out information. I am glad for my personal peace of mind that she did. It was so hard on us as Americans to see how things were playing out in front of us! At the hospital, the people had to supply everything- even the guaze and soap!

At 4:55pm, October 19, 2010, Aubrey Lauryn was welcomed into this world. She is PRECIOUS!

Genesis and her bundle of joy came home from the hospital this afternoon. Genesis had been staying in the college girls' dorm before Aubrey came. Now, both mom and baby are my roommates! :-)

Today was a bustle of activity getting ready to receive the baby. We rearranged the house and cleaned everything. Janie and I had bought a cute little outfit and a bonnet for Aubrey when we were out picking up my alien card today. So, once the baby was here, we washed baby clothes and blankets.

Aubrey and Genesis are now settled in and feeling at home. I am so excited to love on these two. Babies are a reminder that God is so involved in the details of things. I am ready for the late nights, the middle of the night cries, and the dirty diapers. Love for this little one and her mom make those things seem so trivial.

Pray for wisdom for Genesis. She wants to finish school, but now has Aubrey in her life. We don't know yet what she is going to do. And pray for wisdom for us.

Pictures will come soon.

Awakening Love

My love for the Lord continues to grow. He is so good! It is my desire to see this love recreated in others.

Last Saturday, the worship group met. (I'm going to call it HUT for future reference. It's stands for Him, Us, Them.) It was so good! The people are so excited to have this group! :-) We will be meet at 6am every Saturday from now on. God and seeing His love established in people is worth the early mornings.

I introduced the purpose of the group and we spent some time listening to the Lord and talking about why we worship. Then, I declared over each person that they are God's sheep and they do hear His voice. I can't wait to see what God is going to do in this group! I really sense from Him that HUT is foundational to what He wants to do here at IFL. There is a new foundation for the new school being built. In the same way, through this group, He is building a new foundation for worship and discipleship.

I will also be dancing with my friend Cheryl once a week. Cheryl choreographs dances for the kids whenever there are special programs. In a way, I will be discipling her, but she will be teaching me new dance moves. I'm very excited about this, too!

Don't worry about my schedule. These things are in addition to what I am doing with the school and with writing, but come out of the overflow of my time with the Lord. I am so grateful to be connecting with others at the heart level.

Speaking of schedules, I have decided that this is not the right time for me to go to Malaysia. There is no question in my heart that I will go one day, but now is not the right time. I need to establish the principles of worship, intercession, and dance here before I go anywhere else to establish them. I look forward to this work.

I am not teaching much this week. The kids are reviewing for their unit exams and quarterly exams. Since I am teaching reading comprehension, and teachers are focused mainly on grammar, the students are better off staying with their teachers in class. The teachers have not given me the review topics in advance, so I can't very well tutor them. I am spending my time observing review methods and teaching methods, as well as writing.

The other night, I was serenaded by a 14 year old during dinner with love and worship songs. He calls me Barbie and even drew me a picture that I now have hanging on my fridge. Haha! It was HILARIOUS! I love the fun connections I am making with the students and staff here. Relationship is where ministry happens. After all, life with Christ is simply all about relationship with Him.

Yesterday, I went to immigration and got my passport/visa extended. I paid 7,441 pesos for this! That is $171.11. I will not have to renew again, though until December. I am now officially considered an alien. I get my temporary resident card proving this on Monday. I always knew I was a little different. Now, a government agency officially confirms this! 1 Peter 2:11 says, "Beloved, I implore you as aliens and strangers and exiles in this world to abstain from the from fleshly desires that wage war against the soul. Conduct yourselves properly among the Gentiles so that ... they may glorify God." My citizenship and home is truly in heaven.

I am learning that anything without love truly is just a clanging symbol (1 Corinthians 13). Good works fall way, but love remains forever. My prayer is that everything I am doing is motivated from love, not duty, and that my works awaken love, not duty, in others.

The Romancer of the Universe woke me up on Sunday to a BEAUTIFUL sunrise! Check out my facebook to see all of the pictures and the scriptures He gave me that go with each picture. I'll post a few pics here.

Do you see the face in this picture?! It was like God was looking down on the Philippines, announcing His plans for the nation.

Do you see the eagle? Isaiah 40:31

I love God! Thank you so much for your prayers! He hears and moves at the sound of your voice!

I think I'm in love.

I think I'm in love.

Don't worry, I've known the guy for a long time now and we've been best friends pretty much since we first met. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I can't imagine my life without him. We just clarified our relationship and I thought I'd let you know about it.

Ok, I won't lead you on anymore. His name is Jesus. :-) Hehehe. This isn't anything new. I just wanted to scare some people into thinking I met someone else. Did it work? lol.

On to the update.....

Friday, I woke up with a sore throat and had a low grade fever. I spent the day resting and praying, thinking I'd feel better soon. I went to bed really early that night. Saturday, I woke up with a sore throat and a 101*F fever. I slept through breakfast, nibbled for lunch, slept almost until dinner time. Only for about an hour did I have actually have the energy to take a shower and eat. No one was here to take care of me: my roommates had all left for the weekend. I laid there, in and out of consciousness, listening to the House of Prayer in Kansas City. I was desperate for the presence of God and for Him to heal me.

Here's a snapshot into my prayers while I was swallowing fire for two days: God, I love you. No one else is here to take care of me, so You have to. A husband vows to take care of his wife in sickness and in health. Well, I'm sick right now and You're it. So, however You choose to take care of me, I receive it. If you just give me the strength to take care of myself, I know that is how You are taking care of me. Even if you don't heal me, I just want to know You. I just want to love You.

God is so faithful. He answered my prayers.

Sunday morning, I was ready to go to a doctor. The campus nurse came and brought me some cough drops with an antibiotic in them. In just a few hours, my fever was gone and my throat was getting better. I found out later that Tita Pat had told the congregation that I was sick and they prayed for me. That night, I was able to attend the staff meeting and return to normal functioning. God is soooo good! I am still getting rid of phlegm, but I am otherwise back to normal. :-) Thank you also, to everyone who prayed for my healing. God answers prayers!

And God answered my prayers to fall more in love with Him, too. He really is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Monday night, I was able to attend a Jesus Revolution meeting. It's called J*Rev for short. WAHOOOO is about all I can say! I felt like I was back at Gateway, at a Seven young adult service. I am so hungry and thirsty for the presence of God. Monday, I was temporarily satisfied. God's presence was thick in that place. And there was a freedom to dance. So, I danced my heart out before the Lord. It was awesome to see God move in that place, to change the hearts of the people, to ignite love and passion in them. I can't wait until next month when we meet again!

You may think dancing before God is strange, but David did it. Dance is not at all for me to be seen by men. Dance is an extension of worship. Worship is not about how God can bless me, but about how I can bless God. So, when I dance, it is about saying that God has set me from what others think of me. I dance for Him, not others. But wow, it's fun! :-)

In other news, I finally have found a time to meet with the worship group I'm starting. It's 5 am on Saturday morning. GOD, HELP ME! lol. (I am NOT a morning person!) The goal of this group is to build a foundation for worshippers and intercessors to learn to flow together and steward the presence of God in order for others to encounter Him. This group, I believe, is foundational to much of the ministry that will take place here at IFL in the future. Yes, I am called here to teach reading and to write curriculum, but this worship group is equal in its importance. Please keep us covered in prayer- especially that our time together would not be stolen.

In other news... I bought a new camera and an external hard drive last week. But, the printer I bought when I first came here isn't working. I am taking it back on Friday. Not having a printer is a huge delay in accomplishing my purposes here. It's a little thing, but pray that I can get it fixed without having to pay anything.

Also, pray that I can find books to use for teaching the students. We really don't have that many here and they are expensive and hard to find in the stores. Quality Filipino books are hard to find. Some published books here have MAJOR errors and are not suitable for using to teach with.

Thank you all so much for your prayers for me and for this ministry. God hears you when you pray. He moves at the sound of your voice. And He is answering your prayers. Bless you!

Here are some random pictures:

Jeremiah AKA No-No. (Can you guess why No-No is his nickname?!)

What happens when I don't do my laundry for 2 weeks. This is everything I own!

This is how I do my dishes. Notice the toilet.

Sore Throat + Possible Malaysia Trip

I have a sore throat. What's interesting though is that I have been asking God for an opportunity to rest. The sore throat has been accompanied by a very low grade fever. As a result, I have laid in bed all day listening to IHOP Kansas City, resting and reading the word. It's been really nice. My prayer is that this sore throat would cause my heart to soar with God afterwards.

Isaiah 40:31, "Those who wait for the Lord shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and soar close to God as eagles soar close to the sun..."

In my post yesterday, I mentioned the church in Malaysia. What I didn't mention is that Pastora Margaret invited me to come share on worship, dance, and prayer to the youth group (AKA her church). There is a group of people from IFL going there at the end of November and there is a possibility of me joining them to teach on these topics at this time. I don't know yet if this is the right timing, but I do sense from the Lord that I will go one day.

The only thing stopping me from going with the group at this time is transportation- that and follow up contact with the pastor (she doesn't have internet). The group is going for about 2 weeks and I can't be gone from here for that long. But I could go for a weekend that extends into the next week. There is not a direct flight there... I would take a plane from here to Singapore, take an hour long taxi ride to one airport in Malaysia, take another flight to a different Malaysian island, then take a vehicle to the final destination. So, if I travel there alone, it is potentially a difficult and inconvenient trip for all parties. I'm willing to do it and not afraid. The only real travel hiccup would be from the last airport to the ultimate destination. I don't yet know how long that trip is. If it is too long, that would stop me from going.

Please pray that contact can be made with the Malaysian coordinators so that if I get to go, I can get a good price on a ticket. I would LOVE to do this. It is one of those things that if I get to go, that's awesome, but if I don't, I know that I'll go later in life and won't be disappointed. As I always say, I want God ideas, not just good ideas. And I want God's timing, not mine.

Update on life

I know it's been a while since I've updated. I've gotten into a routine of sorts and am pretty focused on things here. It's good. :-)

I got to to go to a coffee shop the other night. It was on the fifth floor of a building in Calamba. The view was BEAUTIFUL! Check my facebook for the picture I took with my iphone. I haven't uploaded it to my computer yet so I can't post it here. Being above the pollution and crowds of the street was very nice. I definitely want to go there again.

I am loving teaching. That hasn't changed and I pray it never will. I've gotten to a place with my students where they are comfortable with me and will actually talk in class. When I go to pick up the kids from their classes, the other students beg to come with me. Hehehe. :-)

Last weekend, some missionaries came through to learn about the FAITH gardening program we have here. (Food Always In The Home) One of the missionaries is a pastor in Malaysia who reaches out to unreached people groups. She has 4 churches and some kindergarden schools for the poorest of the poor in Malaysia. I had the privilege of getting to talk with her for a long time before she left. Her main church is mostly youth and has a dance team. I would LOVE to go there one day. But, all in God's timing. :-)

The youth leaders from IFL had a meeting on Tuesday and we talked about where God wants us to go with discipling the youth group. I love God's irony. I am not a skilled singer and I do not know how to play an instrument. Yet, I am on the youth leadership team and will be leading a group on worship. Hahaha! Pray about the timing of when this will start. The people that have been picked to be in my group are teachers who are also enrolled in college. This means that their schedule is very limited.

I have been given a deadline for writing curriculum. I love deadlines! :-) They help me to work and focus so much better! They give direction and goals. Thank You Jesus for the conversation that created this one! :-) I am to work on a first draft for first grade curriculum and have it ready by November 1. Please please please pray for this!

I am such a social person and writing is such a solitary posture. Pray that I stay obedient and listening to Holy Spirit's leadings to come away to write. He is my Boss, my friends and I are not. I want to be a good steward of the time He has given me to pull away and write.

I have someone to teach me Tagalog now! :-) Mavick is a Filipino who is waiting for her visa to be approved in China. She comes on Thursdays and Fridays to assist and learn in my classroom. So, on Fridays, I have a private Tagalog lesson. :-)

I think I wrote in a last post about writing on the cover of my last journal "Victory over homesickness." I really have had victory over homesickness. Thank you so much for those of you who prayed for me during that time. I do not know when I am coming back to America. Please understand that. I will let you know when God lets me know.

Thank you so much for your prayers!!!!!! Let me know via email and facebook how I can pray for you, too.

Sleepy Short prayer update

Let me start off by saying that it's really late here, I'm really tired, and had a really mixed up day that I may or may not write about later. Oh, Sleep! Where are you???!!!

That said, I have some really cool news to share!

I finished the first draft to my first publishable children's book this week!! It's currently entitled, "Cami the Chameleon". It may change titles a few times before it's set. But it's a picture book for ages 6-8. And it is written specifically for ESL students all over the world.

Pause.

I have a giant beetle crawling on my shirt. I flicked it to the ride of it's life. I'm sure I'll find it later asking to go again.

Play.

Ok, so "Cami the Chameleon" is a parable of "Be in this world but not of this world" and how doing so results in joy and changing others. I am SOOOOO EXCIIIIIIIIIIITED about this! You can't know more right now. You'll just have to wait until it comes out. ;-)

It's not just the story I am excited about, but what I sense God wanting to do through it. For the majority of my life, I have kept journals. But since I've been here, He just keeps saying, "write, write, write, write." It's not just a reading program I will write. He has given me three children's books ideas and an adult book idea with the promise of more ideas. I know these books are going to be very important in sharing His love to the world. I want to publish them and use the money to fund missions.

Please pray that I would hear and obey, especially regarding my schedule. It's easy to want to talk to friends or do other things when I've been given the gift of time. But I want to steward my time for kingdom purposes. And right now, His kingdom purpose for me is to write.

Also, keep Jessica A. in your prayers. She has agreed to help illustrate this first book. She and I are not sure where it will go from her initial sketches. She has an amazing talent and anointing when it comes to art. I am praying that she will be able to be my illustrator. Pray for her time management too as she volunteers to sketch for me. She has a very busy life, too.

I now need to crawl to my bed and have the ride of my life in my dreams. And yes, I'll be back telling more.

Breakthrough

I just finished reading a book called, "The Promise No One Wants." I think it was written for me.

God promises to shake everything that can be shaken until what is eternal remains. I think that's what the last season was about. Right before a breakthrough is when things are the worst. In order to have a breakthrough, some things must break.

God speaks to me through my journal covers. Whatever journal I'm in usually characterizes the seasons of my life. I just finished a journal. On the outside, there is 1 Corinthians 15:57 "But thanks be to God! HE gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." After filling up the pages last night, I wrote: 9-2-10 through 9-20-10 Victory over being homesick.

Something broke in me this last week and the threat of being forever homesick left. Thank you so much for your prayers. I know that's the reason for overcoming.

In other news:

Janet and Richard have moved to the cottages. They were only here (as my roommates) for a week, but Richard feels much more comfortable not being the only guy with grown women. But before they left my apartment, they somehow got the staff to put internet in our apartment. So now I have wi-fi in my room!!!! :-) I am SOOOOO excited about this!! And it is a REALLY good connection! Thank You Jesus for sending Janet and Richard! Haha!

The day after they moved out, I got a different roommate. Janie and her boyfriend Chris are at IFL for two months to help with medical things and just to serve wherever they can. Janie is staying with me and Chris is staying in one of the cottages with another guy. They are from Seattle. It is so great to have an American my age here! I love the Filipino friends I have here, but being able to talk in American slang not worry about being misunderstood is wonderful! :-)

Today was A HUGE breakthrough for Tina!! Tina learned how to cut with scissors today!! I started working with Tina this week on SSRW stuff. The workbook requires the kids to cut and paste. I started thinking if Tina could do this. So, I found a pair of scissors which has holes the right size and shape for her toes. I held the paper while she moved her toes to cut it. She cut paper for an hour and a half! During a lot of that time, I had to teach another class, so Janie held the paper for her while I taught. You can see pictures of this below.

Then, Tina wanted us to try. We said that we knew how to use scissors. She said, "No, you, Ma'am. You toes!" We each tried and couldn't even get our toes to open the scissors a little bit! Hahaha!

No one had even had her try this before! Can you imagine being 16 years old and never even trying to cut paper? She was so excited and proud of herself! I am too!!! So now I have a goal of getting her to be able to accurately cut things out of her workbook with minimal help. She can already cut in a straight line and these were horrible scissors!

Oh, I just got word that we are going to have three more roommates swing by for a few days. Our house is the revolving door! :-)

Giving Up

When you have given up everything, give up thanks.

I'll never forget a moment in college when this wisdom began to be worked into my being.

My first year of college, I had moved for the first time, had changed churches, and was living with strangers. God had me in a life group where I had to drive 45 minutes one way (at least) in order to get there. I was complaining and crying to God one night on this drive, "God, do You know how much I've given up for You? Everything in my life has changed except my car and my music." God broke in to my pity party so strongly that I am still feeling its effects. I don't know if it was the audible voice of God or not, but it changed me so completely it may have been. He said, "Do you know how much I gave up for you?"

Jesus left heaven where He was properly worshipped. He had perfection- literally. Sometimes we look at our lives and think, "I have the perfect life." Jesus had the perfect life. He was loved perfectly. He had perfect fellowship with Father and Holy Spirit. He could move His pinky toe and the world would change. He had all authority in heaven.

But He did not have you.

He gave it all up because He considered you to be worth losing it all. Have you made Him Lord, the Boss of your life? Having Him is worth losing it all. And then, when you have given up everything, give up thanks. Thank Him for giving up everything for you.

A new kind of normal

Everyday is such an adventure here. Sometimes, so much happens in one day that I don't know where to begin in describing it. And sometimes, something happens but there is no understanding so I wait for an explanation and none comes. I guess this is a new kind of normal.

I had the privilege of holding a 12 month old this week. I was walking around with him and everyone was asking if he was mine. No worries! I haven't adopted anyone YET! It felt so good to hold a baby. :-) I love kids! Baby Gabriel is the middle child of a woman who wants to turn her life around, so she came here on Monday. She left her three kids here while she took care of some business. I think she took the kids back today. It will be better for them if they are with their mom. She has a two week old, Gabriel, and Alex who is 3.

Marlis, Donald and Kay left on Tuesday. I am sad to see them go, but was incredibly blessed by their ministry; I am just grateful that they came. I was able to have some time with Marlis before they left- even though it wasn't nearly enough. She prayed with me and encouraged me in the Lord so much!

The night they left, my new roommates arrived. Janet and Richard (a married couple- Janet from Singapore, Richard from England) are here to help the women with their jewelry making business and to develop an energy efficient means of water pumping as well as making electricity. As with any new roommates, there is an adjusting phase. I can no longer do my pilates in their room or hang my laundry there to dry. lol. I am excited they are here. I am looking forward to getting to know them. I am also excited about what they will bring to the ministry here at IFL. Their services are so needed!

Classes are going well. I am building relationships with the students and it makes class much easier. I love teaching! I finally have an oscillating fan in my classroom, too! :-) It makes it SO much cooler in there! Being here makes me so grateful for just the little things in life. :-)

I went to get my visa extended today and go to the chiropractor. My back is ok...but Friday I had such a bad headache that I stayed in bed most of the day. The headache was more from my muscles being stiff/tight than from my spine being out of alignment. I still know that the Lord is going to heal me, but I also see His purpose in sending me to the chiropractor. He is good and I trust Him. I want His will, not mine. And I LOVE the luxury of going to the chiro! :-)

Please continue to pray for this reading program I am developing. I really need to teach the teachers what I am doing so they can do it in their classrooms. The problem is finding the time that the teachers can meet. Many of them are also in school. I also need to just start writing. I have a little direction, but my schedule keeps changing so I haven't jumped in yet. I resumed classes with Tina this week, so that takes away some of the time that I had planned on writing curriculum. Oh well... I'll figure it out.

Please pray that even with the constant changes here, I would know how to continue to sneak away to be with Jesus. There are moments that I fight homesickness, but the more I am with Him, the less homesick for America I am and the more homesick I am for heaven.

As always, if any of you have a word, vision, specific prayer, I am open to receiving it. But I also would love to hear how I can pray for you. Your prayers fuel what I am doing here. Thank you!

Tears and Waterfalls

I know, the subject of “Tears and Waterfalls” does not quite make complete sense. But read on because the revelation on how these two things connect is astounding! (At least to me!)

Our culture (and many others) often looks at tears as a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. However, God considers tears to be a very valuable thing. I have spent this entire year learning just how precious they are to my Father. He counts every single one.

There was a time in January that I cried many tears. They were tears of brokenness, of surrender, of prayers for others. The Lord showed me a powerful thing from Psalm 56, Psalm 126, and from an encounter with Him.

Psalm 56:8 says, “You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle—are they not written in Your book?” God already knows every tear we cry or will cry. He catches every single one. (For those of you have read The Shack, Psalm 56:8 is the Biblical basis for the Holy Spirit catching the tears of the main character.)

The next verse of Psalm 56 is what amazes me (verse 9): “THEN shall my enemies turn back in the day that I cry out; this I know, for God is for me.”

In this passage, it is not until tears are shed that enemies are turned back. Sometimes, the enemy is circumstances. Sometimes enemies are real demons. Sometimes, as I am learning, the enemy is yourself.

The tears are not the point of weakness. Tears are weapons against all that is not right in the world. Tears are a sign that you are at the end of yourself and the beginning of God. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you cry. You have the opportunity to win in your weeping if you allow your Warrior God to winnow.

Psalm 126:5-6 says, “They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing. He who goes forth bearing seed and weeping shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.”

This verse says enough. There is another side to the tears. I know that many of you who read my blog and pray for me have wept over the news that I am not coming home in November.

Some of you wept with me before I left. Remember the promise of the Lord. Our tears are not wasted and we will have a day of rejoicing. I do not know yet when that will be, but we will have that day and God will have that day of rejoicing.

In January, when I was learning this, I had an encounter with God that has forever changed me. I was weeping over a situation, but knew that Daddy was catching every single one of my tears. Then, I had a picture come to mind of a mountain cliff with two waterfalls. The entire scene reminded me of the waterfalls I saw when I went to Iquazu, Argentina. Here is a picture from there. Just imagine a taller cliff with trees above it and more defined waterfalls. Other than that, the picture looked like this.

In the picture, though, I also saw the face of Jesus. The cliffs formed His features. The waterfalls were coming from His eyes. It was as if Jesus was showing me that when I cry, I am joining in with His tears. His tears were like rushing waterfalls that created a beautiful river where wildlife, and flora and fauna could thrive. The place of pain, of the waterfall of tears, is the place where life flows. The tears are healing and bring life to a place that would otherwise be just a stony cliff.

In the tears that are being shed over shedding my American lifestyle and more, I am partnering with Jesus to make stony cliffs into places of refreshment, healing, life, and growth. Without the tears, this life would not be possible.

James 1:2-4 “Consider it wholly joyfully, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfectly and fully developed, lacking in nothing.”